Transclubual Safe Space

Hello belllends. It's been a while.

I'm back, but more woke than previously.

I'm all for transgenders and all that stuff.

Which got me thinking. Is it possible to be transclubual? By that, I mean is it possible to get stuck with the wrong football club?

Football fans are the most tribal people on the planet. More tribal than people who live in actual tribes in jungles and stuff.

Your club is ingrained within.

You meet people in life who you would never normally associate with, based on nothing more than your shared passion for the same football club.

63.7% of all British males have a tattoo associated with their football club. That's like 1 in 2. Mental.

Yet, all of this stems from a decision that we make as a 3 or 4 year old.

Before we can make decisions on literally anything else, we make our choice of football club and that sticks. For life. It's a lifelong commitment made before we can even ride a bike, get an erection or watch Worzel Gummidge without soiling our pants. Those last two are interchangable.

In some cases, it's even earlier than that. Your parents (your Dad) picks your club for you whilst you're still swimming up your Mum's tubes. Even before that, maybe, he'll have set your path.

But what if you later decide you've made the wrong decision?

Man Law states you can't change your club.

I mean, you can, but you will be forever ostracized for doing so, so it's not worth the risk.

But why is that? I'll tell you. It's because society is not yet at a stage where it can understand transclubual people.

I'll be open. I supported Liverpool for as long as I can remember. Certainly before I could wipe my own hoop properly or spell my own name.

But I secretly quite liked Coventry's kit and kept an eye out for their results. I still do, from time to time. I liked Highfield Road as a ground and really liked Cobi Jones, Peter Ndlovu and Mustapha Hadji.

I also really liked Wimbledon. The Crazy Gang were fun. I liked their kit as well - it was different.

I. I am a transclubual.

Now I'm older and easily confused by the new offside, handball, FFP and VAR stuff, I don't care about football. I follow results for Fantasy Football, but I don't have any allegiance to any club. I have only watched 1 match in about 3 years and don't have any feelings towards Liverpool, Coventry, Wimbledon or anyone else. I look at results, goal scorers and that's about it.

Oh, except I still really want Everton to get relegated.

Are there any other transclubuals out there?

I saw a Spurs post earlier where people were being accused of being Arsenal fans. Maybe they do like Arsenal too. So what? It's 2023 for goodness sake. Live and let live.

This is a safe place for anyone with transclubual feelings or desires