Each month I attend a men's cancer support group organised by Macmillan's at the Legends Bar at Huddersfield Town's stadium.
It's a wonderful, friendly, and empathetic meeting of people afflicted by the ever more widely spreading disease of cancer.
At the last meeting before Christmas we had a guest speaker called Trevor Simpson who had been invited to speak about the early career of Elvis (no, not Costello, should there be any doubt).
His knowledge of all things Elvis was encyclopaedic to say the very least. He enthralled us all for some 20 minutes as he spoke passionately about the King's early days. He was a wonderfully warm orator - I could have listened to him for hours.
His other claim to fame was that he was a retired football referee who had the rare distinction of having officiated at all 92 Football League grounds between 1984 and 1992 whereupon his age forced him to hang up his whistle. He had refereed at the highest domestic level including Wembley finals. As I sat listening to him talk about Elvis, it occurred to me that his personality seemed completely incongruous with the perceived authoritarian demeanour of a football referee.
During the meeting's break I managed to have a few words with him about Elvis and how "Burning Love" was my favourite song of his (a song driven by the bass) which I'd had the good fortune to play in a number of covers bands as a bass player. I was embarrassed that I couldn't remember the name of the bassist on the original recording, but he was straight back at me with "Emory Gordy Jr". He proceeded to tell me that the writer of the song was also a bass player. These facts alone stunned me regarding the depth of his knowledge. Sadly there wasn't time to talk about football but I wouldn't be surprised if his ears had been burnt to a crisp more than once when I was at Elland Road venting my spleen at his seemingly unfair officiating.
As I made my way to my car at the end of the meeting, I heard a voice call out behind me, "Bye!" I looked round to see Trevor wave to me and I replied "Bye! See you next time". Sadly there was to be no next time. I found out via Facebook, of all places, that he had passed away from cancer on 11th January this year. I only met him very briefly but somehow his passing upset me deeply.
It was only after he died that I found out that, apart from his refereeing career and his passion for Elvis, he also founded Calderdale Hospital Radio in 1981 and was a frequent volunteer presenter. He did a lot of good in his life and in his spare time took on possibly the most thankless task in the football world - that of a referee.
All this made me realise that we really don't know the man behind the whistle. Who knows what these refs do behind the scenes that we will never know about.
The referee got it wrong with Bamford's goal yesterday, in the same way that another ref got it wrong when WBA scored a handball goal at ER earlier this season, a mistake that ultimately cost us 2 points. They're fallible human beings under the spotlight of thousands of partisan, rabid, tribal football fans, tasked with the unenviable pressure of getting every decision right. Daniel Farke was probably right when he said that these things tend to even out over the course of a season.
Everyone makes mistakes, some more costly than others, but thanks to Trevor Simpson I have come to see refs in a different light and consequently give them a wider berth.
Trevor's funeral was at Halifax Minster on Thursday 8th February and I had intended to go but the weather and fatigue resulting from my own chemotherapy dictated otherwise.
I feel compelled to honour his name on this board because I'm sure it won't be mentioned anywhere else on any football sites, and his story deserves to be told.
Rest in eternal peace Trevor. I'm privileged to have met you at all but deeply regret I won't have the chance to meet you again - this time to talk about our other passion, football.
https://www.halifaxcourier.co.uk/news/people/obituary-football-referee-author-and-radio-calderdale-founder-trevor-simpson-dies-aged-81-4484424
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4G5IVGXK_8
A gentleman and a gentle man.
In short, one of life's good guys.
RIP & MOT
RIP Trevor Simpson
posted on 11/2/24
Cancer is such a horrible desease. My mom had it twice.
Best wishes, yes, for your treatment. And thanks for a good read
posted on 11/2/24
Priceless post Elland White, judging from your regular posts you're also one of life's good chaps, and a gentleman. Not many like you, and Trevor(R.I.P.) anymore unfortunately, in this troubled world. Best of luck.
posted on 11/2/24
Good thread - have 5.
Not gonna mention the monarch.
"...the ever more widely spreading disease of cancer." Not sure that is true? People living longer not dying from other things unfortunately means more suffering from cancer. Also, new treatments for cancer means more people living with it or the threat of recurrence.
posted on 11/2/24
Good to hear from you, Elland, and I agree fully with your comments. The older we get, the more likely we are going to face cancer, as sufferers ourselves, or witnessing family and friends experience it. At the moment, I have two friends who are undergoing treatment, one of whom is just thirty-one years old. The one thing you can say about this disease is that it puts everything into perspective, as you so eloquently describe in your post.
However, in the heat and passion of a football game, the well-being of a referee is far from our minds. At best, if he does a good job, he will go unnoticed. If he makes mistakes, especially if they favour the opposition, he will be remembered for a long time. We have been witness to some horrific displays of refereeing, going back to West Brom in 71, Inter Milan in '73, and Bayern in '74. As hard as I try to forget the name Ray Tinkler, it is forever etched in my memory, and I am sure every fan has a long-remembered referee who denied us a vital result. It shouldn't live with us the way it does and it shouldn't take away from that person's humanity but somehow it does.
Thank you for asking us to think about the individual, and the thankless task they have undertaken, because of their love of the game. Stay well and keep posting.
posted on 11/2/24
To save any possible confusion, the King I mentioned Trevor speaking about was Elvis aka the King of Rock n' Roll, and not the current sovereign.
Can't imagine Charlie boy ripping through "Jailhouse Rock". That would be just too weird
posted on 12/2/24
My daughter mentioned one of her best friend's mum's has stage 3 breast cancer.
It brought back memories of how my mum had breast cancer, which she beat.
She died 20 od years ago from lung cancer, just a couple of inches deeper into her body eating away whilst the breast cancer had been given all clear.
It's a wicked disease and a hammer blow to all around the sufferer.
I completely missed yourself Elland whilst reading your story about Trevor, can only hope that you have strong support network and make the most of your journey and your loved ones!
posted on 12/2/24
A touching tribute Elland! Wishing you the very best in your own battle. MOT!
posted on 12/2/24
comment by LeedsMRU (U22367)
posted 23 hours, 21 minutes ago
Priceless post Elland White, judging from your regular posts you're also one of life's good chaps, and a gentleman. Not many like you, and Trevor(R.I.P.) anymore unfortunately, in this troubled world. Best of luck.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Many thanks for your kind words
posted on 12/2/24
comment by Jonty (U4614)
posted 11 hours, 46 minutes ago
My daughter mentioned one of her best friend's mum's has stage 3 breast cancer.
It brought back memories of how my mum had breast cancer, which she beat.
She died 20 od years ago from lung cancer, just a couple of inches deeper into her body eating away whilst the breast cancer had been given all clear.
It's a wicked disease and a hammer blow to all around the sufferer.
I completely missed yourself Elland whilst reading your story about Trevor, can only hope that you have strong support network and make the most of your journey and your loved ones!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Saddened to learn about your Mum. It's a cruel twist to think that you're over the worst only to find there's something sinister lurking elsewhere in the background which you know nothing about.
Don't know where I'd be without the support of my wife and adult kids. Macmillan's have been great too and I've met some truly wonderful people along the way. Trevor was one of them - a goodness of heart and a warmth of spirit.
What will be will be and in the meantime it's one foot in front of the other.
I rely heavily on everyone's contributions to the board, especially on match days and I'm so thankful for that. I'm on the site everyday reading articles and comments.
The form and results of our team are a huge part of my positive mindset. This season is such a joy. Daniel Farke has done incredibly well to get us to where we are, taking into account we gave the rest of the league a month's start. We're playing exciting football and the players are playing with a smile on their faces. Long may that continue, whether it's champagne football or proper pint football.
Let's hope the run continues tomorrow night with another 3 points to put pressure on the teams around us
posted on 12/2/24
comment by Elland White (U8323)
posted 1 hour, 19 minutes ago
comment by Jonty (U4614)
posted 11 hours, 46 minutes ago
My daughter mentioned one of her best friend's mum's has stage 3 breast cancer.
It brought back memories of how my mum had breast cancer, which she beat.
She died 20 od years ago from lung cancer, just a couple of inches deeper into her body eating away whilst the breast cancer had been given all clear.
It's a wicked disease and a hammer blow to all around the sufferer.
I completely missed yourself Elland whilst reading your story about Trevor, can only hope that you have strong support network and make the most of your journey and your loved ones!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Saddened to learn about your Mum. It's a cruel twist to think that you're over the worst only to find there's something sinister lurking elsewhere in the background which you know nothing about.
Don't know where I'd be without the support of my wife and adult kids. Macmillan's have been great too and I've met some truly wonderful people along the way. Trevor was one of them - a goodness of heart and a warmth of spirit.
What will be will be and in the meantime it's one foot in front of the other.
I rely heavily on everyone's contributions to the board, especially on match days and I'm so thankful for that. I'm on the site everyday reading articles and comments.
The form and results of our team are a huge part of my positive mindset. This season is such a joy. Daniel Farke has done incredibly well to get us to where we are, taking into account we gave the rest of the league a month's start. We're playing exciting football and the players are playing with a smile on their faces. Long may that continue, whether it's champagne football or proper pint football.
Let's hope the run continues tomorrow night with another 3 points to put pressure on the teams around us
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Many years ago, in teh O'Leary era, I was under sever pressure at work with a new boss who wanted me out, extremely stressful.
I used to go up for the European nights, it was escape, kept me sane, Radebe scoring on his ar in one of them, Leeds really saved my life back then, glad they're shining a light for you at this time.