Arsene In Training

*Arsene has arrived at the training ground for pre-season training, he greets the players*

Arsene: Hello! Right, I hope you all had a good time off, how are we feeling people!?

*They players look a little despondent and they murmur*

Arsene: Fantastic! OK, let's do a quick roll call.

*Arsene takes out his clip board*

Arsene: OK, Jack!?

Jack: Here!

Arsene: Robin!?

Robin: Here Arsene!

Arsene: Gael!?

*There is silence*

Arsene: Has anyone seen Gael!?

Jack: I think he's in Manchester Arsene.

Arsene: Manchester? Not the most exotic place to go on holiday, must be late coming back I guess.

Jack: No Arsene, I think he's having a medi-

Arsene: Johan!?

Johan: Here Arsene!

Arsene: Good man, OK, who's next on my list here......Samir!?

*There is silence*

Arsene: Samir? Where is Samir? Anyone seen him?

Jack: I think I saw him earlier, he was in the canteen with Cesc, they were talking together.

Arsene: OK, well I'll just note them both present.

*Suddenly Samir and Cesc both emerge from the building, they slowly walk towards Arsene*

Arsene: Samir! Cesc! Great to see you both. Why are you not in your training kit?

*Samir and Cesc are dressed in their casual clothes*

Cesc: Arsene, Samir and I have both been talking and we have made a decision.

Arsene: Yes, yes, yes! They'll be time for chat later! Go get in your training gear and come out with the rest of us. Jack! Would you please grab the kit bag there and lay out some cones. We'll have a little 5 against 5 mini tournamount! It'll be fun! Shirts and skins!

*Jack grabs the kit bag and starts to put cones down*

Arsene: We can do the rest of the roll call later, everyone seems to be here. Oh.....

*Nicklas is standing there smiling at Arsene*

Arsene: Nicklas......what are.....what are you doing here?

Nicklas: What do you mean?

Arsene: Nothing, I just thought......I have to make some phone calls later. Right! Everyone get into teams! Captains are Robin, Aaron, Johan and Cesc! Each of you pick a player!

*Cesc pulls Arsene aside*

Cesc: Arsene, I really need to speak to you. I don't feel like I shou-

*Arsene whips off Cesc's top*

Arsene: You're captain of the Skins Cesc!

*Arsene moves Cesc into the line of Robin, Aaron and Johan*

Arsene: OK Robin, you pick first!

Robin: OK, I'll take Theo.

*Theo smiles and skips towards Robin. Robin ruffles Theo's hair. Eventually nearly all the players have been picked, except for Samir and Sebastien*

Arsene: OK Aaron, your go. Who will you choose? Samir or Sebastien?

*Samir is looking a little angry, Sebastien looks on in hope*

Aaron: Oh God, I don't know....uuummmm........come on then Sebastien.

*Sebastien leaps into the air*

Sebastien: YES!!!!!! I'm not last!

Arsene: Great, that means you're with Johan there Samir.

Samir: I'm not playing.

Arsene: What!? Why!?

*Samir looks annoyed. Arsene goes over to him*

Arsene: Is it because you were picked last? It's OK, someone always has to be picked last, I must admit though it suprised me to see you not picked earlier.

Samir *mumbling*: Doesn't suprise me.

Arsene: I'm sorry?

Samir: I SAID IT DOESN'T SUPRISE ME! No one likes me anymore!

Arsene: What!? That's ridiculous!? Yes they do! We all like Samir don't we guys!?

*There is silence. Arsene looks concerned*

Arsene: OK, what's wrong everyone?

Jack: Samir doesn't want to be here Arsene. He wants away to Manchester for a bigger wage!

Samir: THAT'S NOT TRUE!!!

Jack: IS SO!!!!

Samir: IT'S ALL ABOUT WINNING TROPHIES! I WANT TO WIN THINGS!!!!!

Arsene: You want to win things!? But we will win things Samir!

Samir: No we won't! I don't care anyway because I'm going to Manchester!

Arsene: Gaels in Manchester, I had no idea Manchester was such a tourist hot spot.

Samir: No! I'm going to Manchester to win things!

*Arsene sighs*

Arsene: Samir, what would you say if I told you that later on today we are holding a raffle?

Samir: A raffle?

Arsene: Yes. I'm selling tickets. Would you like one?

Samir: And I have the chance to win something?

Arsene: Yes.

Samir: What's the top prize?

Arsene: Seeds.

Samir: Seeds!?

Arsene: Yes. Packets of seeds, so you can grow flowers in your garden.

Samir: No. I'm off. Goodbye Arsene, I'm going to get the train to Manchester.

Arsene: But the climate down here is better for growing than in Manchester!

*Samir starts to walk away. Arsene holds up a large bag of seeds. He grabs a handful of packets*

Arsene: BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SEEDS SAMIR! THE SEEEEEEEEDS!!!!