Help Us!

Rangers are like the school bully who's picked a fight with a wee kid, little realising that the fella spends his weekends doing karate and kick boxing.

Now the bully is on the floor greetin' his eyes out, looking to his 'mates' for help as they back off awkwardly pretending not to know who he is.

For years he's lorded it over everyone, acting anyway he wanted without a care in the world. "I'm the biggest and hardest one here" he would often boast to anyone who was within earshot.

But now he's reduced to a caterwauling wreck, a pathetic creature in the eyes of everyone who gazes upon him

That is Rangers today - crying for help from everyone, including those they choose to despise: Alex Salmond, Nicola Sturgeon, the mhedia, other SPL clubs etc.

"Help us" they scream, terrified that their club as they know it is about to disappear right in front of their eyes.

Will anyone answer their call? Would you?