Gervinho is a myth for many people. Who is this Gervinho? What are his attributes? How tall is he? What is his best position? (on the football field you sicko!) I am here to clarify a few things.
Gervinho's rather large forehead is NOT a horrific abnormality.......it houses the largest footballing brain to ever exist! At least 50% of the goals that he scored last season was due to telekinesis.
Gervinho scored four goals last season with headers from 45 yards out.
Arsenal will save a significant amount of money next season by scrapping the pitch watering system. Instead Gervinho will run around for a bit and wipe his forehead which will cause a minor flash flood.
Gervinho's arrival at the club will boost Bacary Sagna who seeing that his style of haircut is vaguely popular will defend 22% better.
Denilson on believing that Gervinho is a fellow Brazilian will become 79% more skilful which will ultimately culminate in us forgetting about the potential losses of Fabregas and Nasri.
Gervinho is Eboue approved.
I hope you are all suitably enthused for the imminent arrival of this nice fella. Gervinho, wo-o-o-oh, Gervinho wo-o-o-oh. He used to play for Lille, his forehead is unreal.
Your Article For Gervinho Fact Time
posted on 6/7/11
"Gervinho scored four goals last season with headers from 45 yards out."
Yeah, he was *stood* 45 yards out, but just dipped his neck and headed the ball from the goalies hands, pretty much on the goal-line.
posted on 6/7/11
His forehead is actually a secret weapon against secret tracking missiles and terrorist attacks and can protect the country he is in by bouncing satellite signlas off his shiny spam and scrambling the trajectory of the missile.
posted on 6/7/11
I used to do that on "Sensible Soccer" on the Megdrive all the time! AT LAST! A player who can actually do this!
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Those little guys had unbelievable neck muscles didn't they? I liked slide tackling the ball in from outside the penalty area.
posted on 6/7/11
Gervinho is Eboue approved.
That is good enough for me. Sign him up!!
posted on 6/7/11
His forehead is actually a secret weapon against secret tracking missiles and terrorist attacks and can protect the country he is in by bouncing satellite signlas off his shiny spam and scrambling the trajectory of the missile.
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If this is true then the MOD should be paying the transfer fee and at least 50% of his wages.
posted on 6/7/11
They are in talks.
posted on 6/7/11
Gervinho's forehead is tougher than diamond and infinitely more precious.
posted on 6/7/11
Gervinho's forehead is tougher than diamond and infinitely more precious.
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When he retires he can sell bits of it to the Arsenal club shop to make into special jewellery, for the Arsenal fan who has everything.
posted on 6/7/11
niiiiiice
posted on 6/7/11
Strawberries and cream is nice.........not as nice as a Gervinho induced wave of sheer emotion though.