Euro group stage wrap up & stat-attack

A selection and objective, critical analysis of group stage stats.

Most goals scored:
Spain 1st (6); England & Germany =2nd (5)

Fewest goals conceded:
Spain 1st (1), Germany =2nd (2), England =4th (3)

Most shots on target:
Spain 1st (39)
Germany 11th (19)
England =13th (15)

Most shots off target:
Spain 8th (19)
Germany 9th (17)
England 13th (12)

Corners:
Spain 1st (26)
England 12th (13)
Germany 13th (10)

Pass completion:
Spain 1st (1978)
Germany 5th (1302)
England 16th (557)

Pass completion %
Spain 1st (82%)
Germany 5th (74%)
England 12th (66%)

Possession:
Spain 1st (62%)
Germany 8th (50%)
England 15th (23%)


Viewed globally, the above stats show that England have done much better than either of the tournament favourites; they've been far more effective and their matches have been by far the most entertaining. How?

Well, for a start, they've need just a third of the possession, a quarter of the passes and less than half the shots that Spain have to produce only 1 goal less. They've also been considerably more effective than Germany, although it must be said that Germany have proved to be true gents, making sure they divide possession equally with their opponents and don't take too many shots so as not to skew things too much.

Not only that, England have corageously allowed teams to attack them most of the time, making for great drama. However, thanks to their enviable grit and determination they've only conceded 2 goals more than Spain, who starve their opponents of the ball and bore everyone to death with their tippy-tappy nonsense and walk-the-ball into the net policy that almost always end with an extremely soft shot that the keeper is generally able to stop while sipping a beer.

Interestingly too, the only players who have actually got any end product for Spain are the PL contingent plus Cesc, who learnt his football there.

Germany are in no man's land, yes they ARE much more exciting than Spain, but pale in comparison to England.

Also, when the ko rounds start, remember that Spain's corners offer the ideal opportunity to go and fetch a cold beer or go for a quick pee, as nothing at all is going to happen. Most will be short corners played back into their own half anyway.

However, don't miss a single England corner; they're virtually nailed on for a goal or clear scoring opportunity. England take corners the way they should be taken. Corners encapsulate the true essence of football: being tall and strong and hitting the ball with your head. In short, England play football the way it should be played.

For all these reasons, England's football is clearly the best. Germany are ok, but a bit overrated and, as for Spain, well, apart from boring our pants off, they're so ineffective they only ever win anything because they're Blatter's and Platini's sweethearts, but France are up next and Platini might well sit on the fence and let the Spanish meet their maker.

Clearly, the only possible conclusion from these stats is that England are going to walk the title. The only question that needs asking is, shouldn't it be John Terry lifting the cup, even if he isn't nominally captain and is unfairly suspended from the final?