Denver Tanks 42 - New England Rhinos 58

At the Holland and Barrett Epcom Center at 13 minutes past the hour, time was called on the greatest spread win for the season openers the NE Rhinos. The Rhinos were up against a 14-2 running wildcard in the Denver Tanks but thanks to the teams former MVP Buck Mally, the asphault was paved for a side spinning exhibition.

After GWAR finished the national anthem, it was the Rhinos to hit the plate and leading the offence was Guatamalan born Hernandez Rodriguez Del Rio, who was looking for his 10th sack in over time for this years top placed golden ring. However, the steely determination of former Kansas McNuggets pitcher Tad Foreman ensured that Del Rio would be hoping for a playoff grand slam to get the points onto the leaderboard. The rest of the Rhinos offence in the first quarter were unoriginal and irregardless of the top slugger Chuck Lewitt hitting straight quadrants for the Tanks, the points score stayed tied at 22-22.

A half time show with Dolly Parton leaping over the ring of sharks on fire was well received by the 185000 fans at the Center, many painted in their sport franchises colors. The loudness of the sports memoribilia collectors must have prompted the playing staff of each business sports team as the 3rd quarter was nothing short of awesome. Kenny Douglas the rookie of the year in the Mid-South Territory threw 21/14 spikes for the Rhinos in a consecutive knockout pre-phase, while Del Rio found his lucky charms and hit a two-for in a 3rd apex bi-line. But it was Mally who shone leading the charge with a 14 fumble ball at the Tanks ensuring that the Rhinos had a substantial 13 point lead going into the 4th quarter.

The Tanks struggled valiantly and showed defence nothing short of the Alamo, but on free Giant Hat night, the Rhinos kept their brainal communication nerval systems and beat the spread for a 58-42 away default un-loss. Celebrations ran out through the night in Boston as franchse owner Teddy Langheimer announced new sponsorships for the team going into the 12th phased play-off this December. Coach Brain Washington stated that this +1 victory was thanks to the teams faith, God and the electrolights found in VitaWater+. This leaves the Rhinos looking at a 2nd playoff place in 4 years with a view on 8 draft picks for the brand.

Rhinos

Del Rio 33/12
Lewitt 121-25-8/25
Mally 1/87
Douglas !/aging all in
Kippen all out
Arkanback decreased sporst val needles


Tanks

Wasley 18 skips
H downfor 1

Over shots: Rhino, Rhino, Tank, Rhino

MVP: Buck Mally

Dean Winterburns slam of the week: Del Rio's 18th dingy at the back of the plate in 11th umpire cry shout