Francis Jeffers, alleged footballer, sometime gambler and former crock-pot of S6 is currently in the process of weaselling his way back in to English football, by way of a pre-season training hook-up with Tranmere Rovers. The least successful England International in modern history claims to want to gain opportunities by showing his work ethic and proving his fitness, bizarrely implying that this will actually improve his chances. Jeffers, in a clear attempt to get a place in the Team GB Olympic Understatement team said,
"I've missed a fair bit of football through injuries throughout my career, so it's important that I stay fit"
Having played last season in Australia, Jeffers said that his current run of apparent fitness was due in part to the Aussies being a bunch of wusses when it came to football, and also due to there being no bookies or gambling premises within a convenient distance.
Tranmere look to join an illustrious list of teams, including Arsenal, Everton and Sheffield Wednesday, who have had the misfortune of being taken to the cleaners by this con-artist / chancer / walking advertisement for corrective ear surgery.
Original article:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/18800652
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And before you all start moaning, yes, this is meant to be more of a joke than a serious article :-P
How does he do it?
posted on 12/7/12
Oooh god no!!! Wouldnt wish that on them, their fans have been through enough already
posted on 12/7/12
Thats the thing with poorly managed clubs - the fans always end up being the ones who lose out.
He might get a game in the Blue Square.
posted on 12/7/12
Dude he wouldnt get a game for a "Nags Head" sunday morning pub team...if he did the old bloke and his dog watching would walk away in disgust vowing to never return
posted on 12/7/12
"Last season, I managed to play 28 games in Australia. That's a good foundation. The injuries stayed away and I think the climate helped me.
"The league is probably technically a bit better than here, but it's not as physical and it suited my style of play."
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WELL DO US ALL A FAVOUR THEN N STAY OVA THEER THEN YA GRET DUMBO EARED MOANIN SCOUSE CON-MERCHANT FROM THE PLANET LUG-OL' WHO CONNED MILLIONS OUT OF FANS IN ENGLAND & SCOTLAND BY SUBJECTING US TO SH1T3 PERFORMANCES AND MONTHS OUT WITH A SCTRACH ON YOUR ANKLE, WATCH OUT AUSSIE'S, HE'LL BE OUT FOR 6 MONTHS WITH SUNBURN NEXT
...boy that felt good
posted on 12/7/12
Arsenal ladies comes to mind..
....
..
posted on 13/7/12
FJ9 should never grace a professional football match in this country ever again. He is complete and utter shuffle.
posted on 13/7/12
Here here!!
posted on 13/7/12
If he's prone to sunburn in Australia then he should avoid playing here ever again as he'll be out for months with chapped lips during the winter.
posted on 13/7/12
, further reason why he should never play again!!
Besides, imagine him playing against the likes of Stevenage, now that would be entertaining...hey just hada brilliant idea, the blunts should snap him up, now that would be perfect
posted on 13/7/12
Especially for their long term lower division plan