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Friday Joke

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich.

The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck".

"I see your eyes are working", replies the duck.

"And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.

"I see your ears are working", says the duck, "Now can I just have my beer and my sandwich please?". "I'm working on the building site across the road, and I'm on my break. ", explains the duck.

The landlord serves him and he drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.

This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him, "You're with the circus aren't you?, I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!".

"Sounds marvellous", says the ringleader, "get him to give me a call".

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the landlord says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!".

"Yeah?", says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?".

"At the circus", says the landlord.

"The circus?", the duck enquires.

"That's right", replies the landlord.

"The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle?", asks the duck.

"That's right!", says the landlord.

The duck looks confused, "What the f@&k would they want with a plasterer?"

posted on 13/7/12

What do Beckham and Rangers FC both have in common? Both got Fked by Victoria

posted on 13/7/12

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posted on 13/7/12

You all seem to love Ducks.

posted on 13/7/12

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posted on 13/7/12

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posted on 13/7/12

A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Do you have any chapstick?" When the pharmacist hands it to him, the duck replies, "Thanks, just put it on my bill."

posted on 13/7/12

I am definately quacking up at these jokes.

posted on 13/7/12

Duck and a chicken standing at the side of the road.
Chicken says "just popping over to the other side mate".
Duck says "I wouldnt you will never hear the end of it"

posted on 13/7/12

Oh my father caught a rabbit,
and he thought it was a duck,
so he put it on the table with its arz sticking up,
now upon my word and upon my soul,
have you evert seen a rabbit with a duck erzhole

taxi.

posted on 13/7/12

What do you give a person with water on the brain? A tap on the head.

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