Can't understand why the Mrs

GTB, aye have had the same pash!

"Don't get me anything"
"I don't need anything anyway"

So I just spent a few quid on a couple of wee things....cue her going aff the nut and trying to send me packing out to buy her something decent, the ungrateful boot!

You just can't read women...whatever they say...do the opposite!

I swear that is the only thing she talks about whilst sat on her backside stuffing her face, I lover her and want her to learn to lover herself so sue me !!!

Aye there's nae pleasing the fat bints

Mine says, for her birthday, she'd like to go somewhere she's never been before. I said "Try the kitchen..."

just jokes guys ............ my bird's an absolute darling really

just jokes guys.............. I don't even have a bird

just jokes guys .................. I am obese

just jokes guys................ those were the birthday presents I bought for myself

Poor Rangers F.C. fans! Now that your famous football club has disintegrated you have nothing to do but insult your wives. They are saints to have put up with you ding bats!

Us poor Celtic F.C. fans! Our pub team is going to get leathered by the famous Barcelona and then all we will have left is to batter oor wives. They are saints to have to put up with ding bats like me!

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Fixed

Rangers fans should know all about pub teams, they're playing them every week now