Why the CL Should Only be for Champions!

Good hi.

It is Champions League time again and as Man Utd fans we can’t help but feel that this is just turning into the Carling Cup with a tan, a funny accent and occasionally a guy in a sombrero chucking a donkey off a tower block.

Tonight we are playing our reserve reserves because we have already qualified and are saving our reserves for the carling cup. I propose a number of radical changes to the CL format so that we don’t find it so easy to qualify from the group stages every season and we actually have to play our first choice team.

The Champions League Should Only be for Champions

The title is in the title. Literally, unliterally and illiterally. If you win the title in your domestic league, you deserve to be in the Champions League. Simples.

There are far too many cannon fodder teams clogging up the Champions League and I see no reason for them being there. If we make the Champions League only for champions we will get rid of these mediocre teams.

Let’s take this season’s CL as an example. Pub teams like Montpellier, Cluj, Bate, Nordjgjalafkdnlland, Galatalatasaray, Anderlecht, Celtic etc. Why are these teams allowed in the Champions League?

If we just had champions in the CL this season and didn’t have these diabolical teams, we would only be playing the likes of Barca, Bayern etc and we would be really up for every game. To cut a short story long, if the champions league this season was only for champions, we would win it without much difficulty.

A Fairer Seeding System

Last season we were unfairly eliminated from the groups stage of the CL because of unfair seeding. UEFA seeded us 3rd at the end of the group stage, meaning we couldn’t qualify. I propose that all teams (1-32) are seeded BEFORE the start of the group stages and knock out stages to make it fairer. I have come up with a fairer system that will stop the big teams like us from being unfairly eliminated in certain rounds and help conserve the quality and fairness of the game:

Group Stage seeding: Seeding should be done before the group stages, each team would be given a seed from 1-32, so we would be seeded 1 for example cos we are the best. The highest seed in each group automatically gets through to the knock out stages and the 2nd highest seed in the group would also proceed automatically to the last 16. This would be the fairest way because it ensures the best 2 teams in the group qualify.

Last 16: Like the group stages, the last 16 is seeded to avoid all the best teams like us going out, to make it fairer. The top seeds (us) would play the 16th seed and so forth, and like in the group stage the highest seed automatically progresses to the quarter finals.

Quarter Finals: Much like the last 16 but instead of the number 1 seeds (us) being drawn against the 16th best team, we are drawn against the 8th best team, (See it is getting much tougher and more exciting and fair already). And like the previous round, the highest seed automatically progresses to the semi finals to make the CL better quality and more fair.

Semi Finals: The top seeds (us) are drawn against the 4th seeds. The 2nd and 3rd seeds are drawn in a play off system where the higher seed automatically progresses to the final to join the higher seed out of the 1st v 4th seed fixture.

The Final: The final will be a fantastic sceptical to behold. The fixture will be between the top 2 teams in Europe, cos that is what we all want to see. The higher seed out of the 1st and 2nd seeds will automatically progress to the trophy lifting ceremony, where we will see the best team in Europe deservedly lift the trophy.

So the best team wins the Champions League, this proves it is a fair system and it what we all want to see.

The winners of the Champions League will then be seeded number 1 for the Champions League the following season in interest of fairness. The runners up will be seeded number 2 etc.

Here would be our route to glory this season if a fairer seeding sytem was used.

Group stage:

1. Man Utd (seed 1)
2. Galatalatasaray (seed 9)
3. Who cares (seed 17)
4. Who cares (seed 25)

Last 16:

Man Utd (Seed 1) v Benfica (Seed 16) - Man Utd (Seed 1) WIN

Quarter Final:
Man Utd (Seed 1) v AC Milan (Seed 8) – Man Utd (Seed 1) WIN

Semi Final:
Man Utd (Seed 1) v Real Madrid (Seed 4) – Man Utd (Seed 1) WIN

Final:
Man Utd (Seed 1) v Barcelona (Seed 2) – Man Utd (Seed 1) WIN.

CHAMPIONS

I have teamed up with Sepp Blatter and FIFA to test the system. Here is FIFA's end of year report showing proposed changes for 2013 and percentage of FIFA board in favour of each proposals.

Key
CLR - Champions League Reconstruction
GLT - Goal Line Technology
PD - Punish Diving
MRIF - More Racism in Football
GMB - Get More Bribes

Percentage of FIFA Board Members in Favour

I----------------------------------------------------100%----------102%----
I--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I--------80%-------------------------------------------------------------------
I-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I-------------------2%----------1%--------------------------------------------
I_______________________________________________________
------CLR-------GLT----------PD------------------MRIF---------GMB------



Conclusions

If the Champions League was only for champions then we would win it more easily this season cos we wouldn't have to play joke teams like Montpellier, Celtic, Cluj etc

A more fair seedings system would improve the competition and ensure the best team wins the CL and aren't unfairly eliminated in the group stages (like us last season), which is what we all want to see.

I paid FIFA board members to vote in favour of my CL reconstruction proposals, then we got drunk and sung racist songs.

Good bye!