What do you do when.......

...your son is at home
crying all alone on the bathroom floor
cos he's hungy,
and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man
for a little bit of money and his daddy's gone.

oooops sorry got a bit carried away there.

I go for 4. Kick the Missus

Did I win anything?

I like it when we win

The day is bright and cheerful
"Mow the lawn you ask? Why, yes! I will do it right now"
"You've burnt down the shed? Not to worry, Arsenal won today so all is well!"
"Hello Mum, glad you rang.......what's that you say? Dad is ill? That's a bummer. Did you hear we won today?"

Lady

7. Smile happily to yourself and say; "Next week will be better. Next week we'll win."

Pretty much this. The alcohol helps, I admit.

nowadays i'll just sulk. turn my phone off and shoot people in the face on computer games of something.

worst was before i went uni and my mum would say OUTRAGEOUS thing such as

"it's just a game"

"somebody has to win or lose"

"they tried their best"

which never fails to get make you 10 time more when you just dominated a game for 90 minutes and lost to a long ball over the top

Lady!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Can understand it though)

My Mum always says things like, 'Well, what did you expect? It's Arsenal, of course they were going to lose'.

That's REALLY annoying

I do hope we don't have anymore of those frustrating home games when we score early. Then we can't score, then the other side score a crap goal in the last minute to make it 1-1

my mum is too nice to watch football with... she cheers when either team scores. and she has the worst memory in the world.

'who's that spanish guy that manages england?'

capello? he's italian.

"no, the good looking one."

mourinho? he's portuguese. and he left chelsea ages ago.

"didn't he used to manage england?"

no.

My usual reaction is .....................