Paddy McGuiness.....

That's the spirit.

We'd be doing the nation a favour.

Thinking about it, have you not still got any contacts who could "accidentally" drop a 1000lb bomb on his house?

Don't have any contacts for the bomb any more. Could send him a crate of stuff. He'd not be able to get out the house for ages mind.

I think you're just being coy in case Special Branch are watching.

I'll keep me ears open for any loud bangs.

I'd take him to a remote forest, put a bag over his head and shoot him several times in the head from close range and I'd take all his close blood relatives and do the same to them to make sure the genealogical line was ended, just like they did with the Romanovs. Oh, and I'd burn all the remains.
But that's just me.

Frankly, not good enough. 3/10

Sorry......I know it sounds harsh, but if you're going to do a "proper job" on him then you need to think big.

Topping his blood relatives is a start but you really need to explore the time travel options (available on Firstchoice.com) in order to eradicate his wider family.

Come on, man. Invent a time machine and go back and do it properly.

We need to completely eradicate any lasting memory of this douche.

I'll help. I've got a spare Flux Capacitor in the shed that I'm not currently using.

Let's do it.

Correct take the clown out,in fact take a certain clown of a so called fan with him.

I've got a DeLorean and some Busted CDs.

I feel a plan coming on...

Also, coming from Bolton and sharing the same surname as Peter Kay hasn't done certain other people a lot of harm. Oh, that's who nuns meant isn't it.

Pretty sure nuns meant me, exiled.