Theo Falls

*Theo has come to Arsene's office to discuss Samir. He opens the door and walks in. Arsene is playing a football managing game on his PC.*

Theo: Hi Arsene, can I have a word?

Arsene: Theo! Hello! Come look at this. I'm playing this game here. Look how quickly I can simply put a bid in for a player!

*Theo comes over and looks at the screen.*

Arsene: Look there. I'm Arsenal and I just bidded for Eden Hazard. They have accepted it and now he's signed! How easy was that! It's not like real life!

Theo: Is it more complicated in real life?

Arsene: Oh yes! There's so many factors to consider and obstacles to go around before you land any player.

Theo: Is there? What kinda obstacles?

Arsene: Oh........you know! Obstacles!

Theo: Name one.

Arsene: Ermmm..........the weather?

Theo: Whatever, anyway Arsene I've come to talk to you about Samir. I think you should sell him.

Arsene: Sell Samir!? Madness! Why would I do that!?

Theo: Because he hasn't signed a new contract and is showing no signs of doing so.

Arsene: He's just not got round to it yet! Lazy Samir!

Theo: No Arsene. He told me he wasn't going to sign.

Arsene: What!? Why would he say that!?

Theo: BECAUSE HE IS NOT GOING TO SIGN!!!!!!

Arsene: Oh, OK who told you this?

Theo: Samir.

Arsene: Samir told you he wasn't going to sign?

Theo: Yes.

Arsene: Did he say why?

Theo: He said he wanted more money and thinks that this side is not good enough to win anything.

Arsene: He's clearly insane! His mental strength must be wavering. Maybe I should talk to him, you know, talk some sense into the boy. He looks up to me!

Theo: I'm not sure if he does Arsene. I've heard him say some mean things about you.

*Arsene is shocked.*

Arsene: Mean things!? What kinda mean things!

Theo: That you are too chicken to buy any player over £10M.

Arsene: TOO CHICKEN!!?? Rubbish! I am actually on the verge of signing a player today! Come see the paperwork!

Theo: Who?

Arsene: Ermm......

*Arsene coughs into his hands.*

Arsene *coughing.*: Fern*cough.* Ladelan*cough.*

Theo: Great! He is a replacement for Samir? How much will he cost?

Arsene: Yes! Yes he is! And he'll cost us.....errr.......one.......hundred......million dollars!

*Theo looks suspicious.*

Theo: Are you making this up Arsene!?

Arsene: No! And you know the best thing about him? His mental strength! It's off the chart Theo!

*Suddenly Samir comes in through the door. Theo goes silent and looks at the floor.*

Samir: Arsene.

Arsene: Hello Samir. Theo here has just been telling me that you don't want to sign a new contract and you want away.

Samir: Yes. I'm actually here to ask if you would consider Man City's bid that should be coming in today.

Arsene: I will consider it yes. But you have disappointed me Samir. I gave you life!

Samir: Life!? No you didn't!

Arsene: No, I didn't, but I gave you a career at Arsenal!

Samir: Yeah! And what do I have to show for it!?

Arsene: We won the Emira........

Samir: Ha! Exactly! You can't even say that anymore.

*Samir punches Arsene in the head over and over again.*

Samir: I HATE YOU ARSENE!

*Theo jumps up and tackles Samir, they fall to the floor. Suddenly Samir has a gun and they are wrestling with it, it goes off!*

Arsene: NOOOO!!!!!!!

*Samir gets up and runs out the room. Arsene moves over to the fallen Theo, Theo is smiling up at Arsene.*

Theo: I...I saved you Arsene.

Arsene: Don't try to talk, let me see this wound!

*Arsene turns Theo over and sees blood pouring out of his chest.*

Arsene: It's OK Theo! It's just a flesh wound! MEDIIIIIIIIIIIC!!!!!! SOMEBODY HEEEELP! HELP SOMEBODY!!!!!!

*Theo smiles weakly, he lifts his hand to Arsene's cheek.*

Theo: You....prove them wrong Arsene....win....win it all...do it for me Arsene.

*Arsene is holding back tears.*

Arsene: You'll be there with me Theo! We can win it together! Just hold on!

*Theo's eyes start to close, he looks at Arsene.*

Theo: .......Arsene.............

*Theo's eyes close.*

Arsene: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

*Arsene weeps over Theo's body.*

Arsene: Oh Theo! This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you!