are you a trumper?

So there I am, sat on the incline chest press, enjoying the 5 second rest I allow myself between my superset of bench press and incline chest press.

To psyche myself up for another 10 reps, I fastforward to minute 05:02 of the song "the way" by Zack Hemsey. Slowly but with spirit i push the weight, 1...2...3...4...5....6.......7.............8.................9.......................10!

You see, im a limbic system kinda guy, so certain situations require certain moods, certain moods require certain mental physical impulses. However, every action has a reaction! As I finish the set and stand up to get a subtle feel of the pump these badboys have given me (u know the crossed arm chest squeeze, followed by the "prod"). However this marvel, this moment of true appretiation of ones inflated pectoralis major, was shortlived...

The sweet silverback feeling of having your chest feel like its just been intravenously loaded to the brim with testosterone, was withered away by the familiar feeling of mouth muscles pursing and nostrils flaring.

The half speed panoramic movement I made, upon the lighting fast realisation that I had made a schoolboy error and forgot to do the tissue sphincter trick was like a sky tv advert.


I had farted.


Silent but violent

Silent but deadly

....whatever u call it, I was responsible for a full scale area evac! Was/am I ashamed....no I am not! My fellow gym users need 2 know that I am pushing my body to the limit and leaving myself at the mercy of my orifices. That being said, I have not gone back without placing a half folded tissue in between th area whilst squattting half way and blocking the outward air flow.

The gym...only in the gym!