Doyle

Coincidentally enough, I have put MY applicastion in to replace Clough on the bench too!

I'm local, have loads of fat mates who'd love a cushy job doing nothing and I also have no formal qualifications in football management. I hope knowing lots about football won't count against me too much.

*An "applicastion" is a more formal kind of application, for those who don't know proper English like what I do.

In which parallel universe do you know lots about football?

He played Football Manager once

I've never played Football Manager, nor any similar game/app.

Incredible as it might seem, I can become obsessed with stuff like that and so steer well clear for the sake of my sanity and marriage

I wouldn't take you to be an obsessive personality.

What are you going to do when the baby looks like Nigel Clough or even Mick Philpott?

My new daughter cannot fail to be anything but gorgeous and, if there's anything in that whole 'evolution' argument, the world will soon need a new word to describe the heights of physical beauty that will be scaled.

Unless she takes after me rather than her mother, in which case looking like Your Nige in drag would represent an improvement

All babies look like Winston Churchill anyway.

So many of the wife's friends have been facebooking pictures of their kids recently and, I have to say, some of them are downright hideous.

The kids or the wives? If it's the kids it could be new Facebook service for paedophiles. They don't miss a trick to make money.

Anyway as you were on about Nige's portly backroom staff I thought you would like this picture. Apparently they are so hungry they have to eat their hands in between meals.

http://www.dcfc.co.uk/news/article/another-tough-test-929824.aspx