Emirates Cup

Going to both Emirates cup games tomorrow with a Napoli-supporting mate. If/when Higuain scores a hat-trick, should I:

1 Throttle my Napoli-supporting mate and tell him he's not my friend anymore.

2 Congratulate him on signing a terrific player and wish him the best of luck for the season.

3 Sit back and enjoy the occasion, admiring the football and knowing that pre-season friendlies don't tell you anything about the season to come.

4 Shrug, and exclaim in a loud voice "Who cares, motherfackers, we gonna sign Suarez-killa and we gonna bite everybodda's ass and win so many trophies they be stickin out our asses!!!!!!!!!!"

5 Quietly weep, rock back and forth in my seat, while repeatedly mumbling "we 'ave quality in our squad, we 'ave quality in our squad, we 'ave quality in......"