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Blessed Are The Barren

I'll admit that Bolton Wanderers have caused me more than a few sleepless nights over the years, but my early 2013/14 season symptoms are fast becoming cause for concern.

In the past 24 hours alone I have experienced the following signs...
hot flushes, increased irritability, night sweats, headaches, difficulty sleeping, mood swings, anxiety, forgetfulness, problems with focus and concentration, a fattening of the abdomen and so on...

So, needless to say that I'm starting to think something else going on... the unthinkable... the incomprehensible. Close to tears one minute, couldn't care less the next, could this mean that I'm showing signs of the change of life? The cessation of my 44 love affair with The Whites?

Am I actually beginning my Wanderers menopause?



posted on 24/8/13

It's possible.

But don't be afraid, you're not alone and there is treatment available.

I went through something similar a few years ago. I was displaying all the symptoms you describe and it was scary.

Added to this, I would randomly fall asleep during Bolton matches.

Eventually, I sought professional help from my GP and after conducting some tests he pronounced that I had been struck down with an acute case of "Megsolepsy."

It's like narcolepsy, but it only happens during football games.

Anyway, he gave me some patches to wear to games (like HRT but with added Bovril) and I'm now on the mend.

I'm not completely cured, but my condition is now manageable and I can lead a fairly normal life.

Keep your chin up, fin.

(And get some patches.)

posted on 24/8/13

In the past 24 hours alone I have experienced the following signs...
hot flushes, increased irritability, night sweats, headaches, difficulty sleeping, mood swings, anxiety, forgetfulness, problems with focus and concentration, a fattening of the abdomen and so on...


-----
It's been common with Bolton managers. It happened very often under Coyle.

posted on 25/8/13

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posted on 27/8/13

I've taken to only following the result of the away games after the match so only 5-10 minutes of my weekend will be ruined rather than 2 hours plus. Any decent result will be a massive bonus.

Either way though the end result is drink. Always drink.

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