@@@Jay Spearing - The Purple Patch@@@

Jay Spearing has revealed that he had a series of run-ins with former team-mate and Liverpool club record signing Andy Carroll. The issues arouse following a hefty tackle from Spearing during a training session at Melwood. He recounts his problems in an upcoming novel entitled ‘The Purple Patch'. Below is an excerpt from the book.

‘Maybe I caught him a bit with the tackle. But we shook hands afterwards and he seemed ok so I thought that was that. But I was wrong.

I’d just got out of the shower and all I could hear was this commotion outside the dressing room. A strong Geordie accent shouting “Let me at him. Let me at that little beady eyed cóckmuncher."

He came barging in, squinting his eyes at me but unable to advance towards me because about three or four of the lads were trying to contain him. It was like seeing an out of control horse. Kenny Dalglish had emerged at this point and stepped in front of him to try and calm him down. His attention was quickly drawn towards Kenny who attempted to run some wise words past him. It seemed to work because he calmed down quickly but Andy’s final response before leaving the room left me nervous.

“I’d have no problem putting my boot through his bóllocks, Kenny. Absolutely no problem at all."

The following day he whispered in my ear during a training drill. “You’re about to go through a purple patch you little shít. You funny looking purple bóllock príck."

Sure enough five minutes later he put his boots clean through them leaving me rolling in agony on the ground. I was expecting a huge backlash from the rest of the lads and the management team but instead it was met with a few cheers.

“Ah. Great banter lads," Kenny said, as I hobbled away to see the club doctor.

The confrontations became more frequent from then on. Jordan Henderson grabbed me in the car park and Andy proceeded to give me a ‘misty glove’. I dropped the soap in the shower and he was quick to give me a ‘turnpike quill’. Some of the lads caught me off guard and slam dunked me into a urinal. They called it a ‘pineapple soda’. And just when I thought my luck couldn’t possibly get any worse he gave me a ‘red-tinged sieving’ right in front of everyone.

There’s a nasty gang culture at the club though. Poor John Flanagan will be next for sure. I told John before I left don't drop the soap. But he didn’t listen. So now I just hope he doesn’t drop the soap. But it’s like I keep getting these horrible visions right in the middle of the night that he dropped the soap. So I hope for his sake he doesn’t drop the soap. I tried to tell him what happened to me when I dropped the soap. But I just have this feeling at some point soon he's probably going to drop the soap.’

Disclaimer: mans got it in the inbox so just sharing with the ja606 brethren.