Agent AVB payment stategy

On Sunday 3rd March 2012, Agent Villas Boas had his contract at Chelsea FC terminated at his behest and agreed to partake in a dangerous mission whereby he would be infiltrating enemy HQ. Arsenal FC, Chelsea FC and West Ham United FC agreed on a payment strategy for him which is currently in place.

Agent AVB brief:

- Humiliating home defeat to Chelsea ✔
- Humiliating home defeat to West Ham ✔
- Humiliating defeat at the Emirates ✔
- Home loss to Fulham ✔
- FA Cup loss to midtable Championship side ✔
- Home loss to Wigan ✔
- Take Spurs out of the top four ✔
- Eliminate goal threat ✔
- Sell best players (Modric and Bale) ✔
- Indirectly fund Ozil sale to strengthen Arsenal ✔
- Cover the costs of flight and accommodation of Chelsea signing Willian ✔
- Transformation from an aesthetically pleasing side into dull boring outfit ✔
- Criticise Chronic and co for lack of atmosphere at games ✔
- Continued decline by finishing 6th or below
- Jabs, Vaccines and medical tests upon returning from mission at WHL.

Whilst Agent AVB is paving the way for his PSG move this coming summer, I'd just like to clarify the conditions in the contract and reiterate that funds will not be released into Agent Villas Boas's account until the final brief has been met and the jump from 5th to 6th and below has been complete. Communication with Mr Villas Boas has been clear and he will not be fully paid until ALL criteria has been met.