LT: WEEK ...something...

DREAM LEAGUE LIVE TEXT !

Sit down and enjoy another serving of the dream league.

Todays games are sponsored by Vagisil, keeping your missus smelling better than a Salmon.

So what do we have in store today?

Aberdeen vs Salisbury
Stockport vs Southend
Shrewsbury vs Leeds
Cambuur vs Tenby
Dagenham vs Harrogate
Blackpool vs the Lions
Burnley vs Fishguard

Before the games the Dream League will pay respects to Nelson Mandela and have a moment of silence.


LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. the main event

1min: An early penalty shout at Salisbury as Ronaldo burst through a group of players and falls to the ground, protests are waved away however and after seeing the replay it seems as if the turf fell apart as Ronaldo planted his foot for a shot…good call by the referee.

2mins: Some of Lubo’s players are walking about a little gingerly, looks as if they have taken a beating in their camp as injuries were rife.

3mins: Tenby and Cambuur look a little bit tentative as both teams are clearly aware of what the other can do.

3mins: Fishguard look on it today boyos. From the kick off Welshy’s bad boys play in Finnbogason and he spins on a sixpence and fires it miles over…but it shows the intent.


4 mins: Prides men make the first impact in their game vs Leiva’s Lions. It’s more luck than judgement but Coentrao looks to play a long ball over the top to Gaitian who’s running toward the box… the ball is massively over hit and it bounces a couple of yards infront of De Gea and bounces over the Spaniard. The ball comes back down and hits the base of the post. It’s a massive stroke of luck for the Lions but it was never meant by Coentrao

5mins: GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

It’s been a quick start at the game in Stockport and it’s Southend with the early lead. Wanyama is great here he blocks Eriksen from getting the ball through to Benteke and plays the ball to Pjanic who breaks down field with pace and get to the box and firers a shot at the goal, but Begovic fumbles the ball and Aguero pounces first and firers the ball into the back of the net. Stockport 0-1 SOUTHEND

7mins:Rooney fires one from distance and it’s so poor its hit the corner flag!

8mins: Coentrao gets free again for Pride, this time his ball is on the ground but it's too hard for Van Persie who doesn't have the pace to catch the zippy pass.

10mins: We have our first chance in the match at Dagenham now. Dagenham have been dominating the ball but on the counter attack Iniesta breaks free from Martinez and goes down field and slips the ball through to Messi, who firers the ball straight into Horns arms.

12mins:GOAAAAAAAAALLL!!!
First Blood Tenby! Torres, Silva and the goal scorer Michu play some fantastic football around the Cambuur box and Torres little flick into his fellow Spaniard (Michu) takes both Cambuur Cb’s out of the game and it’s an easy one to finish for Michu! 1-0 Tenby

13mins: Well 9 minutes after Blackpool struck the Lions post both teams seem prepared to let the other attack and the balls are being pinged about sideways by the Lions who are looking to lure the Blackpool boys towards the ball…it’s not working though

IMPORTANT NOTICE
The game at Shrewsbury has been postponed due to bad weather, a streaker, poor visibility, floodlight faliure and Lubo being a bellénd the match will be replayed when Tippy has the time

15mins:GOAAAALLLL!!!:
ROONEY, ROONEY, ROONEY. TBAG’s men haven’t hardly had a touch! But Deulofeu gets hit down the line by Baines, he goes for a shot but it’s deflected by BMI into the path of Rooney who guides one into the Fishguard net!
1-0

16mins: Aberdeen show they aren’t going to sit and allow Salisbury to take the game to them and Shurrle hits a ambitious cross field diagonal to Neymar. The Brazilian takes a great touch and provides a bit of trickery the great Ronaldinho would have been proud of to take Nastasic out of the game. His shot slams against the bar though. Replays show Buffon gets a marvellous touch on the ball to stop it bursting the net.

17mins: Paulinho ridiculously high foot and he catches Matic on the nose with his boots. LC is furious he wants a ! Not going to happen though and the game continues.

18mins: The Leeds fans are rioting in the stands...all 10 of them! Manager Lubo has tried to calm them down but they're having none of it...They're throwing chairs at the gaffa...and the players are getting involved too!

20mins: Welshy’s men are angry at being behind! Deulofeu is on the ball and in comes Blind with a elbow on the spainard. Not content with that the Fishguard number 6 yells GET HIM!!! And in come the rest of them! The main culprits being Clasie and Fischer who double team with kicks into the Burnley mans shins.
for Blind, Clasie and Fischer, the latter finding it unbelieveable the ref could even dare suggest it was a foul.

Welshy peers over the latest copy of the Beano and see’s his teem are carrying on what they practice on the training ground.

23mins: First sign of Leiva’s game plan working, Rafael is in no mans land in the Lions box when a quick Lions break away exploits the space he’s left.
Isco gets the ball and looks to play in Suarez who can’t stretch enough to get on the end of the low cross.

23mins: it’s taken so long to get back to the game in Stockport but since the goal went in it’s all been the away side. But they’re wasting chances when there come to them.

24mins: GOAAAAALL!!!
> I told you they wouldn’t sit back and take it and Aberdeen have got the goal! Mascherano is closed down by Vidal and his back pass to Zabaleta is horribly underhit, and in pops Neymar! The Salisbury team seem to freeze and Neymar is able to curl one in from the edge of the area. 1-0

26mins: Freekick Reinartz is in overly hard on Pirlo and it starts a pushing and shoving contest between the two teams. Reinartz and Kagawa both receive a and the Free kick goes Blackpool’s way.

26mins: Welshy’s team are playing well again and Deulofeu looks scared to take anyone on with the ball, he was the shining star for Burnley in the opening minutes but he seems a little tentative now.

27mins: POST!!!! They’ve hit more woodwork! Van Persie takes the freekick and it’s a good attacking cross in and Kagawa puts his head on it, it is powerful and in the right direction but it hits the underside of the bar and lands in De Gea’s arms.

28mins: Martinez, Salisbury’s new strike force gets played in by Ronaldo and Chirches is beaten far too easily and puts in a poor challenge. The Salisbury boy cant get his shot away though and it rolls out of play.

29mins: Cambuur’s first chance of an equaliser and it’s Cardozo played in by Ocampos, he gets his shot away but Valdes gets a glove on it and it rolls away for a throw in.

30mins: PENALTY!!!:
Ronaldo slams a cross into the box and out pops a Bender… or at least a Bender’s hand, the pentaly is given and a to Bender.
Ronaldo steps up to take the penalty.


31mins: GOAAAALLL!!: >: Bardi was nowhere near it! Ronaldo slams It into the right hand side of the goal and Bardi just watches It go past him 1-1.

31mins: At Dagenham meanwhile it’s very tight in the midfield area and both sides aren’t really getting towards final third, so hats off to both midfields for keeping this game tight but interesting.

32mins:In Leeds Lubo has been tied to one of the goal posts naked! The 9 remaining Leeds fans (Little Billy had to go home to feed his pet Possum) have stripped the Leeds gaffa and are now pelting him with rotten fruit...the same fruit used to beat the mighty Cambuur

33mins: Fabregas misses a sitter! Played over the top by Rodriguez Rooney is able to guide the ball back across goal and Fabregas swings a leg at it and slices the ball wide, shocking!

34mins: GOAL DISALLOWED The Lions have the ball in the back of the net! Suarez takes on two Blackpool players and is pushed in the back by Musacchio, Suarez falls to the floor but gets straight back up to Lob Leno…however as he strikes the ball the ref blows the whistle for the foul and it doesn’t count. Musacchio gets a and it’s a free kick to the Lions on the edge of the box…

Suarez takes the freekick himself but it’s straight into the wall.


37mins: Pogba has just smashed an attempt at the Aberdeen goal from 5 yards into the Aberdeen half, it stays true and takes a good save from Bardi, the young Frenchman showing why Rap mortgaged his house and sold his mothers kidneys on the black market to buy the boy.

37mins: We have our first card at Stockport today and it’s gone to Wanyama. Herrera played a lovely through ball to Eriksen and the Dane was running towards the goal and Wanyama put his foot in and brought Eriksen down which resulted in a freekick to the home side.

38mins: GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Eriksen dusted himself down and took the freekick and it flew into the back of the net. STOCKPORT 1-1 Southend

39mins: Tenby are trying to keep the ball but LC’s men are very quick to close down. Tenby are strong in the defence though and nothing has got through yet.

40mins: Koke shows why he is one of the hottest prospects in Europe, he links well with Isco and is found on the edge of the area with the return pass, he lets the ball run through his legs and it takes the defending Pirlo out of the game, he is overambitious with the outside the boot shot though and it goes wide.

41mins: Poor Vidal, he find himself in a Toure Pogba sandwich and he certainly took a stuffing!
Funnily enough the referee only deems Toure’s part in the challenge as illegal and the Ivorian gets himself a

42mins: We have our first of the game at Dagenham and it’s gone to Ramos. The reason behind the yellow is because he was mouthing off at the ref because he was convinced his team should have had a pen. But on replays defo not a pen Luiz got the ball before the man (Lewandowski)

44mins:GOAAAAALLLLLL!!!
That’ll do nicely! Cardozo wins a throw in from Shaw and quickly takes it, it’s thrown into the box and Firmino is there to slam it into the back of the net.
Right before half time, perfect for LC’s men.

45mins: PEA gets the run on the Blackpool defence and he is motoring away from everyone, he makes his way into the box and is destroyed by Leno. The referee adjudges the Blackpool keeper to have won the ball first and the Lions appeal is waved away.

HALF TIME!

47mins: Neymar squares up to Kompany and tries pushing the big Belgian. Kompany stands firm and Neymar actually falls over himself …Neymar is sneaky though and rolls around and lays down behind Kompany. This allows Lukaku to push Kompany backwards and he trips over Neymar and falls on the floor, a massive cheer goes up around the ground and Lukaku and Neymar receive

48mins:PENALTYY!Well it looked like a pen and on replays it is a pen. Messi was twisting and turning in the box and Thiago Silva brings him down and receives a for his troubles.

48mins:GOAAAAAL!!!!!
Finnbogason has got the equaliser for Fishboys! A hard tackle from Blind leaves the ball free in the middle of the park.Bakkali gets to the ball first and slips Finnbogason in, he doesn’t look up to see where the goal is and his toe poke is right where the keeper can’t get it!

49mins: PENALTY MISSED!

Messi dusted himself down and got up and took the pen himself. But Horn guessed the right way and keeps his side in the match. Messi looks horrified the poor guy .

50mins: It’s gone a bit boring in the Blackpool game as neither team is taking too many risks. Prides men have learned and their full backs aren’t taking too many risks whilst Leiva’s team are failing to play that final ball and Suarez is getting increasingly frustrated.

52mins: GOAAAALLL!!
Who gave Finnbogason his Weetabix?? This time he is the one who puts in the hefty challenge, it’s on Busquets who flies to the floor as if shot in the balls with a cannon. The ref allows the game to go on and Finnbogason plays the ball out to Vilhena. Vilhena lats the ball back inside for the Finn and he spanks it into the top corner! 2-1

54mins: Pogba burst through the challenges as Salisbury’s midfield start to take a real hold of the game as the legs tire, he reaches the box and slips in Walcott who fires it wider than a Geordie lasses lady pouch.

55mins: We have an Incident in the game at Stockport!
Four players are involved in a massive bust up in the centre circle. Herrera and Eriksen are both given ’s for Stockport and Strootman and Ogbonna for Southend with ’s. It all started over a nasty tackle from Eriksen on Pjanic, Eriksen is a lucky man to still be on the pitch


56mins:Dzagoev has been quiet again today but he unleashes a belter, he is pushed into a corner by good pressing from the Lions and he has not teammate showing for a pass. He decides to just roll the ball forward and have a go from an improbable angle and it takes a mighty fine save from De Gea.

58mins: Not a lot going on in the Cambuur Tenby match where the wind and now rain has become very strong, not footballing conditions that the silky suave game players.

59mins: PENALTY!!!
Fishboys All the good work to regain the lead and it’s ruined by De Vrij who pulls Rooney down in the box, there is no card but Burnley have the chance to get the equaliser…

60mins: Yaya Yes! A prefect tackle, Lukaku gets the better of Zabaleta receiving a long ball down the line from Otamendi, he moves into the box where Yaya Toure comes flying in and gets the tackle perfect, so much so it’s played off of Lukaku and gives Salisbury the goal kick.

60mins: I can’t really report on much from the game in Dagenham, both sides are controlling the ball in the middle of the pitch and there’s nothing happening in the final third. In the Dagenham game Sub for Dagenham Bale off Rossi on

61mins: PENALTY SAVED!!!
Does the dream league have the worst penalty conversion rate in the world? Cillessen does the old Spaghetti legs and Baines who decided he would take the pen blasts it straight into his chest. It’s a poor penalty and Cillessen helps Fishguard survive for now.

64mins: Greizmann is on for the Lions replacing Koke…they haven’t had the cutting edge from midfield, can this bee the much needed change?

65mins:Son on for Shurrle for Aberdeen who aren’t prepared to sit on the point.


65mins: GOAAALL!!!!
> Draxler looks a hell of a lot more happier on the left wing now and it’s Draxler himself who has cut in field and fired the ball into the back of the Harrogate net from 25 yards out. DAGENHAM 1-0 Harrogate

66mins: Isco in the middle links up with Suarez magnificently, passing the ball into the Uruguayan Isco is played through with a near little heel flick from the Lions magician. Isco should really finish but his shot is saved by the legs of Leno.

67mins: Just to let you know how strong the wind is in the Tenby game a Cambuur corner has just been taken and before it reaches the box it’s blown behind the goal for a goal kick.

68mins: Toure takes on 3 Aberdeen players and squares the ball to Walcott the Englishman gets on the end of it and Bardi makes a great save with his knee and it stays 1-1

70mins: GOAAALL!!! We have our third of the match at Stockport and it’s for the away side. Pjanic picks the ball up from deep and passes it to Oscar and Oscar slips the ball through to Aguero who gets his second of the game. Stockport 1-2 SOUTHEND

70mins: Modric Is on for Leiva’s lions, Matuidi was very unhappy to be subbed off and threw his shirt down at Leiva’s feet. Leiva wasn’t taking any cráp from his player though and grabs him by the ear like a naughty child and forces him to pick it up... I’m surprised Leiva was tall enough to reach his ear! Big balls from the Little African.

70mins: Illarremendi on for Flamini for Burnley.

73mins: SURELY A RED!?! Ronaldo goes past Chiriches and is pulled back by the neck before he can get into the box, if he hadn’t been shown a before hand he surely would have got one so why has the ref bottled handing out the …usually it’s only Rap bottling things.

75mins: Contento and Higuain are both on for Pride and they look as if they are going to battle this one out.

75mins: Subs at both game:

Negredo on for Insigne at Stockport for Southend

Bender on for Gundogan at Dagenham for Dagenham

Lamela on for Acheampong at Dagenham for Harrogate

75mins: Tello and Morata on for Pedro and Torres for Tenby who just win a corner.

76mins: GOAAALL!!!
> AGGER! The Tenby corner is whipped in and a good fist out by Koval…it’s only as far as Shaw though and he thunders in an ambitious shot, it’s a daisycutter destined for the bottom corner and in pops Agger to touch the ball the complete other side of the goal and give Tenby the lead.

78mins: LC responds immediately with some subs : Vargas for Ocampos and Icardi for Matic

79mins: SO CLOSE! RVP is played in by Higuain’s flicked header and he cant get a good enough connection with the volley. A better hit there and the game is Blackpools

80mins:Hernandez is on for Lukaku for Aberdeen, different approach?
In Dagenham nothing is happening really. Harrogate are lost for Idea’s as Dagenham are defending well and keeping the ball from the away side.

Subs Roberto on for Eriksen at Stockport for Stockport,

Rakatic on for Pjanic at Stockport for Southend

Whilst Fishguard are also making changes in their game Zivkovic on for Bakkali, and Maher on for Klaassen

81mins:GOAAAALL!!!

Vargas scores with his first touch !! A clearance is gobbled up by Icardi and he moves towards the Tenby box, his cross is missed by Cardozo but Vargas is following in and his rising shot goes through Valdes’ hands it’s all level!

81mins: Piazon on for the Lions. As he enters the field he is slide tackled by Rakitsky and the 4th official misses it. Piazon goes crazy and kicks out at the Blackpool defender

84mins: head in hands moment! Vidal gets a great shot away and Buffon can only parry it into the middle of the box, it bounces in front of Hernandez and can’t control the shot, It flies over and it should be 2-1.

84mins: Berisha on for Strootman at Stockport for Southend

85mins: Mane for Deulofeu for Burnley, it’s a surprise Deulofeu is still walking after being the beating boy for Fishboys.

86mins: AND NOW A FIGHT, a foul in front of the dugout on Morata by Guarin and Di is really unhappy, she gets up and puts a heel on Guarin’s testés! This provokes LC who throws the detachable end of the Díldo chair at Di’s head. Di’s team react to this angrily and there is a lot of waving fists and pulled hair. for Guarin, Morata and Valdes.

88mins: Free Kick on the edge of the area for the Lions! Suarez lures the fould frdom Rakitsky who is lucky to not see another booking.

88mins: INCIDENT IN DAGENHAM!

Ball goes out of play from Lamela for Harrogate and Alaba goes over to get the ball for a throwing. But Lamela tries getting the ball off Alaba thinking it’s a Harrogate throw and ’s at dawn see’s both players go into the book with a .

89mins Back to the Lions and their free kick Rodriguez decides he is going to take this one and goes for power. It deflects off the wall and wrong foots Leno…luckily for the Blackpool keeper it hits the post and Isco fires the rebound into row z.

88mins: for Fabregas for whining to the ref wanting a throw in.

89mins: GOOAAAAALLLL:
It’s all over now! Baines runs down the wing and tries whipping in a cross to Rooney. It’s over the strikers head and cleared by BMI all the way to Fischer, he hits one from just inside the box and it’s off the post and tapped in by Finnbogason HAT TRICK and Fishguard get the win!

90mins:GOAL DISSALLOWED: Ronaldo frustrated and with seconds left tries to catch the keeper out from range, it saved by Bardi and in goes Walcott waiting to tap in…however the flag is up…it’s the right call he was miles off when the ball was hit.

FULL TIME

Full Time Scores

Blackpool 0-0 Lions

: Blackpool 2 : Kagawa, Mussachio. Lions 2: Reinartz, Piazon

MOTM: Reinartz - Hard to give it to anyone today as nobody really stood out.
Reinartz managed to keep Pirlo out of the game all day though so edges the vote.

Aberdeen 1 – 1 Salisbury

Goal Scorers:
Aberdeen: Neymar
Salisbury: Ronaldo (p)

Aberdeen 3: Chiriches, Neymar, Lukaku. Salisbury 1: Toure

MOTM: Toure – Showed good play both at the front and back today. All round good performance.

Dagenham 1-0 Harrogate

Dagenham scorer: Draxler

MOTM: Javier Martinez – put in a great performance against a very good side.

Lamela for Harrogate
Ramos, Silva and Alaba for Dagenham


Stockport 1-2 Southend

Stockport scorer: Eriksen (FK)
Southend scorer: Aguero x2 (Pjanic, Oscar)

MOTM: Wanyama – was a rock in Southends midfield

Eriksen and Herrera for Stockport. Wanyama, Ogbonna and Strootman for Southend

Cambuur 2-2 Tenby

Scorers:
Cambuur: Firmino(Cardozo), Vargas (Icardi)
Tenby: Michu (Torres), Agger (Shaw)


Cambuur 1: Guarin. Tenby 3: Paullinho, Valdes, Morata.

MOTM – Hard one really because there were no real stand out performers. For impact per minute purely Vargas gets it.

Burnley 1 – 3 Fishguard

Scorers
Burnley: Rooney (Deulofeu)
Fishguard: Finnbogason x 3 (Fischer, Vilhena, Bakalli)

: Burnley 1 :Fabregas. Fishguard 3: Blind, Claise and Fischer

MOTM – Finnbogason – Took all his goals well and was on a one man mission to bone Burnley today.

Shrewsbury P-P Leeds
----------------------------------------
Shrewsbury 1-0 Leeds

The game was pretty one sided with Lubo being limited due to a massive amount of injuries.
Ibrahimovic took no prisoners early in the first half with a sublime finish from a Mata through ball.
Ribery and Robben could have added to Shrewsbury’s tally before half time but both missed the target.
Lubo’s team rarely threatened and the closest they got was a long shot from De Marcos and a half chance for Van Rhijn at a corner.
Leeds were very narrow today and Shrewsbury’s wide men had all the space in the world, Lubo will be relieved it only ended 1-0

Goal scorers: Shrewsbury: Ibrahimovic (Mata)

Shrewsbury: Ibrahimovic. Leeds: Van Rhijn, De Marcos, Krul and Austin

MOTM – Mata ran the game in midfield and if Shrewsbury were more lethal the Spaniard could have had a bucket load of assists.