Handy Guide to: Charlton Athletic - Update

Scouring tinterwebs for suggestive-but-tasteful pictures of auks, I was staggered to discover we are due to play some club called “Charlton Athletic" this coming weekend ‘dahn that Landan Tahn’.

Never having heard of this footballing minnow before, I have scoured the supernets highway to discover what I could of this novelty club over-reaching themselves in the Championship for another term.

Here we are then:

"Charlton Athletic Football Club" were formed in 1905, to celebrate the 21st birthday of total football which was born, in a manger, in Derby, in 1884. They turned professional in 1920 and entered the Football League the year after.

As were the rules back in the day, very poor sides like Charlton and Forest were forced to wear an identifying strip of red shirts and white shorts, a tradition that holds to this day.

Nicknamed “The Addicks" predominantly, this is thought to be due to a local chip shop owner who used to give the players free fish suppers, or “Addick and Chips" due to the locals being unable to speak English properly. True story. Another nickname is “The Valiants" which I presume is somehow related to the tempo of their play being similar to the effects of valium, which the locals also can’t pronounce.

Their present manager is Rams Legend Chrissy Powell, Ram of The Year 1996/97. Having achieved his lifetime ambition of playing for Derby by the tender age of 27, let the glory go to his head and his career nosedived, with three spells at Charlton and ending up at Leicester City. Realising his fall from grace, Chrissy retired from playing in 2010 after his Leicester side were beaten by his boyhood heroes 1-0 at Pride Park.

Charlton lost the 1946 FA Cup final 4-1 at Wembley to a far superior side, however they returned the following season and made amends when beating Burnley 1-0.

Powell’s managerial career is going great guns with a 42% win percentage: he led the Addicks to ninth in the Championship last year having been promoted as Champions of Division 3 previously with 101 points.

Charlton are suffering from ‘Second Season Syndrome’ so far this term though and are already 13 points behind fellow relegation battlers Nottingham Forest.

Charlton won possibly the greatest match ever seen at Wembley, the 1997/98 Championship Play Off Final against Sunderland, with Michael Gray’s nerves disintegrating before the entire watching world. Hilarious stuff.

Other famous Charltons are Bobby and Jackie, although when I approached them for comment, neither had heard of the club.

Other Rams Legends who once plumbed the depths at Charlton are Christian Dailly, who commanded transfer fees that nobody then or since has ever understood, and Rob Lee, who was plucked from obscurity to represent the Rams 48 times in 2002/3.

Charlton have not escaped the perils of football finance and were forced to groundshare with rivals Crystal Palace from 1985-2002, having entered administration in 1984. To thank their gracious hosts for this favour, in 2006 they signed Iain Dowie as manager despite him clearly being useless AND fugly. Simon Jordan, professional tosspot, successfully sued Dowie for leaving Palace despite it quite clearly being beneficial to them.. weird.

Famous fans of the club include liberal and easy-going comedian Jim Davidson, Professional Mojaca impersonator Glenn Tilbrook and shoe bomber Richard Reid.

Charlton’s most successful manager is Alan Curbishley, who was at the helm for 729 matches before leaving for West Ham in 2006. Having left the Hammers in 2008, Curbishley continues to wait for a bigger club to be formed in his actual back garden before he’ll consider a return to management.

That’s all the information I could find on Saturday’s opponents; feel free to add whatever snippets you may have gleaned about this little-known outfit.