Transfer news

BREAKING NEWS

Workington have just bought Paul Emslie from Cove Rangers.

The fee has been agreed and personal terms have been met. Workington have traded their washing machine for Emslie's services as their kits were dirty and smelly.

Emslie is now thought to be on £190k and a Kit-kat Chunky-per week. A massive pay cut from what he was on at Cove.

Emslie had this to say on the matter 'Its a great honour to play for Workington, ever since I was a kid I have supported them, they were my boyhood club! Im relishing playing under manager Admin1 with his tactical genius and boyish good looks.'

Cove Rangers manager Kevin Tindal said 'We are really looking forward to the new season with this washing machine, the last one we had really didn't clean out the stains well in our white clothes and tended to fade all of our black tops. However this new machine has a really impressive CV and can tackle any stain in the league'

And in other news me and my mates have booked a lads holiday to Tripoli.

More to follow....