WWF Bangerz in the BBQ

Tonight we broadcast to you live from The Staples Centre where we have the WWF world heavyweight champion of the world Vexatious Vanity against the number one contender The Ironmonger in an Iron Thongs match. Old geezers and boys this was not one for the feint hearted. There was blood dripping everywhere. Both behemoths gave it all tonight as they went back and forth through spells of superiority. Vexatious Vanity displayed his array of skills with multiple watermelon squats and cordless neurons to work on what seemed like an injured midsection of The Ironmonger. The champ took early control and wanted to weigh down his opponent through the brute force and strength that we’re accustomed to witnessing. However The Ironmonger managed to fight his way back into the fight with his finishing move, The Rivet Bolt, out of nowhere. This bought the challenger some time to recuperate. He then made his way under the ring to pull out the weber stick and proceeded to rain down on the champ with devastating blows. It looked like he might snatch the win after delivering The Copper Paperclip and what looked like a 3 count to everyone in the stadium and the ref was overturned by Stephie Big Mac Man and Triple K aka The Sorority, much to the disgust of everyone in the stadium. Shortly after the restart Vexatious Vanity sneakily hit The Masquerade Mirror and retained his WWF championship.

The real drama came after the show when it appeared that Massive Bereavement & Comfort Liner snuck into the champ’s house via the bathroom and tried to continue their streak of attacking WWF stars. Luckily Vexatious Vanity heard them and went for his gun and shot into the bathroom 4 times at the intruders. Vexacious said it thought it was his wife but luckily checked to see if she was in the bed. Rumours coming out of The F say that no-one was injured and the matter will be dealt with internally.

More to follow…