What Everton fans think about us

Well there's a forum full of delightful, knowledgeable, well balanced and open minded people.

Makes this one look like the brains trust.

"Comtemplating the table toppers to Goodison Park on Saturday and with it being the last game before Christmas it’s quite a sight to see that the table topping team will be Leicester City. Fancy that?

It’s a weird old season but that’s somewhat patronising to Leicester who’ve put together a run worthy of sitting in first place thanks to more than just endeavour. They have some very decent players who happen to all be in form, which in some way must be attributable to their new manager Ranieri. And let it be said that it’s really nice to have an opposition Manager visit Goodison that it’s hard to find bad words about as he’s a good sort who contributes to the game in a positive way. Long may they stick one in the eye of those the media most revere.

It would make for a dull preview if the positivity theme continued so I sadly have been driving about today thinking of ways I could rip Leicester leading probably to the odd veiled threat on a partisan twitter from the “OMG he sed bad tings bout r club” mouth breathers. I would then impart that stereotyping upon this preview and three people would “like it” on social media (with one of them being a catfish account and another being a Chinese google robot) and everyone would live happily ever after. The weirdest thing happened when I was trying to think of ways to rip Leicester though - I couldn’t think of anything.

Then it dawned upon me that this was the answer - Leicester has contributed absolutely nothing to society ever and not one person gives a single jot about the place, the people or anything they have ever done.

I’m sure you’ll agree with me that this is a sobering fact. I mean, imagine no one not even noticing that you’re there? It’s all rather Sixth Sense and to a certain degree: tragic. It’s no name St Johns trabs. It’s that person who dies alone in a flat and the fire brigade break the door down after neighbours complain of the smell and they walk in to find the deceased with half a face missing from where the cats got a wee bit too hungry. It’s the kid at the front of the class that no one talks to in the denim jacket. It’s Shepherd’s Pie for dinner. It’s a Ford Orion in gold. It’s February 15th. It’s the hoover section in the catalogue. It’s the deer enclosure when you go to the Safari Park.

No one knows Leicester is there.

They’re top of the league but the media, pundits and even us just brush over it not really taking notice or expecting it to be there next week. Everyone’s just ignoring a quite remarkable feat of Leicester being top of the table for Christmas because no one is arsed.

In many ways it’s perfectly reflective of the place Leicester itself which is just in the middle of nowhere much really. Stuck out of the way in a part of the map that no one apart from Leicester can really point to with any degree of accuracy. Who is famous has come from Leicester? Gary Lineker? Meh. Kasabian? They’re alright like but nothing much. A dead king under a car park and that's it.

So maybe in the style of a rabid kopite alternative league table we can pretend that they’re just not there? For all intents and purposes this home league game against Leicester on the weekend is a home banker and we should be greasing them before smashing them with such gusto that their team bus cannot wait to exit the city sharpish and disappear somewhere down the M6 that no one actually knows.

There’s Jamie Vardy this season who got a customary England cap and scored more than ten games in a row. I don’t think Paul Warhurst managed as many games but it’s a similar feat. It will amount to nothing but trivia in a too tired pub quiz. The most amazing thing about Jamie Vardy is that his face is so angular that it’s completely undetectable to radar. He has a face that is part weasel and all stealth. It’s not at all unexpected when you hear he’s the most obnoxious racist in the casino really, and I hope James McCarthy is fit for this only so he can add a second notch to his little snide book this season.

The winger Mahrez looks good on Match Of The Day but is anyone really that bothered? No me neither. He’s McGeady on flake and nothing more. Kante has looked decent in their midfield when I’ve seen him but West Ham will offer him 10k more a week and he’ll leave. Allbrighton plays wide which should give our full backs full license to inflect uncalled for pain on him and whoever plays behind him, the little titttt. <had to edit that>

Their defence is tripe and they have Schmeichel’s lad in goal. Who else? Exactly.

They’re scruffy and call their players by nicknames as though they’re mates down the pub. English Defense League recruit many from the town and their women are so loose that they make Wiganers weep.

They’re next up for Everton and we must beat them, and beat them good. For the sake of all that is worth protecting in an L postcode.

It screams Lukaku hat trick this but the cross hairs has been slightly out, not just from him, and we’ve been getting punished after pummeling teams without being able to put them out of sight. Either someone is going to get a right gubbing lately or it will cause a crisis of confidence and average teams will start taking three points off us. Or we could just keep drawing, who knows?

Anyway there should be far too much up in their half of the field wearing royal blue for one and a half hours of football this Saturday. Deulofeu really should be terrifying average fullbacks into being chocka about if he’s going to skin them or deliver a ridiculous cross as they stand off him. Barkley should be taking a grip of that midfield and doing all sorts of nasty things to them."

I'm not sure I'd take any of that too seriously, he was bigging us up for a start so I'd suggest the rest is just for some sort of reaction because he's bored and has nothing better to do. He knows how good we are 😂

It's only a roast. I'm not sure it makes their whole fanbase slugs.

It's the same for most reviews on that site

Perhaps the image of referee George McCabe at Wembley in 1969 is a timely reminder that we need to try and win the FA Cup.

Comments like this ......clown!!!

"Let's be honest, Leicester will finish closer to the relegation zone than champions in the end.

Hopefully next season they get relegated to were they belong. Teams who play music when they score don't belong in the premiership.

Good riddance for when they go"

We're the most entertaining team in the league, yeah good riddance when we go ha ha 😂

Comment Deleted by Site Moderator

Still going on about the worst made up rumour going, thick ttwat!! !

I wonder if any of the pubs around Goodison will have any humble pie left by closing time?