Two men meet

Two men meet in a back alley somewhere in Liverpool ‘We want to sell Arteta to Arsenal for millions but the fans who keep giving us loads of money to pay off ‘other operating costs’ will be upset’. ‘So what, we’ve never bothered with that sort of thing before so why worry now. I know we keep quiet about the deal until the last couple of hours then say in a big manly voice ‘No! we will not sell one of our best players who just so happens to earn £75 grand a week’ then with as little time as possible left push the deal through and say we could do sod all about it’. ‘Nah the fans will never fall for that, especially since he said he wants to stay only last week, he’ll look a right one’. ‘He will have you seen the contract there going to give him’. ‘OK if you think the fans will fall for it’. ‘They will. Oh by the way you know that striker that scores goals, well we’ve had an offer for him they’ll pay millions’. ‘No way I’m the gaffer and there is no way I’ll sell big Vic he’ll be the next Heskey’. ‘No not that shower of s#@t, couldn’t give him a way never mind sell him’. ‘Ah but that’s what they said about the pie eater and we are giving him away, see I can spot a player me I can, just like Kouldrup or whatever he was called’.’ Oy Davey pay attention not him Beckford’. ‘Oh him we can get rid of him no probs, calls himself a striker can’t defend, can’t play in midfield, just keeps trying to put the ball in the net’, kept moaning about being against four defenders I mean if he was any good he could hold the ball up and then pass it back just like Phil. Yes get rid of him. But how will we replace them’? ‘I’ll tell you what we’ll get you two new players a winger who has a suspect temperament and can play in defence, I know you like that sort of thing, and how about a striker who has never played in EPL before. They should do well in a relegation scrap’. ‘But Bill we’re not in a relegation scrap I mean ok we lost to QPR but we did beat Blackburn, don’t quite know how but we did’. ‘Not yet, but look can you get us in to the top four with this squad? No chance so if we settle for mid table the fans with all start to protest against me and some will stop giving us money, but if we are in a relegation scrap all the fans will keep turning up and giving us money, and when survive they’ll all love, worship and respect me again including those b~###~ds who didn’t tape me, stupid human memories.’ ‘ But what if we get relegated!’ ‘Never happen because I believe happy endings’.
Make of this what you will.