Goalkeepers
1 Peter Schmeichal
2 Edwin Van Der Sar
3 Idk, Jens Lehmann or someone
Full Backs
1 Gary Neville
2 Partice Evra
3 I heard this Irwin guy who played for Man Utd used to be pretty good so him I guess
Centre Backs
1 Rio Ferdinand
2 Tony Adams
3 Sol Campbell
Centre Midfielders
1 Paul Scholes – The Jesus of footballers. This guy is so good, you can get pregnant from watching him play, even if you’re a guy. There is nothing Paul Scholes cannot do with a football. He can squeeze a football through the eye of a needle. He is so Godlike at passing that he can pass a ball from Old Trafford to a player inside the Etihad stadium because he can sense that player. It's an extra 6th footballing sense that Paul Scholes has unlocked through his many years of rigorous training that only Paul Scholes was able to unlock. A 6th sense that allows you to sense the aura of anyone wherever they are. Xavi was the closest to acquring this power after Scholes, but he could only acquire a 25% innaccurate form of Paul Scholes' power that only enabled him to sometimes sense his fellow Barcelona players. He could never achieve full Scholes sense. You know how great Chess players can think a few moves ahead? Paul Scholes can see the whole game before it even happens. He already knows the final score of the match the day before the game. One day Steven Gerrard made the journey to Paul Scholes’ secret training spot, on the top of Mt Everest, but Paul Scholes refused to train him since he didn’t think Gerrard had the talent required to become his apprentice. Is Paul Scholes even human? I don't know, his powers are above and beyond what should be possible for a human being. Paul Scholes was actually forced to repress his ability by Ferguson because if he played as well as he was capable of he would destroy the universe.
2 Steven Gerrard
3 Roy Keane/Patrick Viera
Wingers
1 CR7
2 Ryan Giggs I guess
3 ? Gareth Bale maybe.
Strikers
1 Thierry Henry
2 Alan Shearer
3 Luis Suarez
Honourable striker mentions
Ruud Van Nistelrooy, Fernando Torres, Sergio Aguero, Andy cole, Michael Owen, Wayne Rooney, Robbie Fowler, Dwight Yorke, Carlos Tevez, Robin Van Persie, Dennis Bergkamp, Sheringham, Ole Gunnar Soljskaer, Dion Dublin, Ian Wright, Kevin Phillips, Harry Kane, Adebayor maybe, Javier Hernandez was pretty good, Olivier Giroud’s got a decent goals to game ratio, Diego Forlan, Louis Saha, Emile Heskey, that bald guy that played for Everton and Crystal Palace, Yakubu, Jamie Vardy, Amr Zaki, Marcus Rashford, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Kevin Davies, Shaun Goater, Andy Carroll, Fernando Morientes, Robbie Keane, Jermain Defoe, Dimitar Berbatov, Lucas Perez, Alexis Sanchez, Carlton Cole, Freddie Sears, Chuba Akpom and Peter Crouch and Chris Armstrong.
P.S. to my fellow Chelsea fans I am so sorry I could not find room for any Chelsea player on this list. Unfortunately it seems like as good as Drogba, Lampard, Terry, Cole, Cech etc. were, they were never quite elite level and unfortunately I cannot in good conscience put them on this list. Sorry.
Top 3 PL Players in Every Position
posted on 11/11/16
comment by Robbing Hoody (U6374)
posted 43 minutes ago
You know which account you're logging in with right?
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posted on 11/11/16
I've just read through the last part of this. Saying no Chelsea players were included because they didn't reach "elite level".
And Sol Campbell at No.3 was elite was he.
I'd rather have Terry over Campbell any day.
Honourable mentions as well!? Chuba Akpom and Freddie Sears? Wtf is all that about. Must be some sort of wind up act surely?
posted on 11/11/16
Average dude, it's the truth. Chelsea players were good but they never quite reached the elite level.
posted on 11/11/16
comment by JustYourAverageFan (U21016)
posted 25 minutes ago
I've just read through the last part of this. Saying no Chelsea players were included because they didn't reach "elite level".
And Sol Campbell at No.3 was elite was he.
I'd rather have Terry over Campbell any day.
Honourable mentions as well!? Chuba Akpom and Freddie Sears? Wtf is all that about. Must be some sort of wind up act surely?
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posted on 11/11/16
It's an impressive faculty,Having personally visited Paul scholes secret training base on my 6th top to bottom Everest summit on that particular day, usually sprint it, but it was a light jog this time so I actually noticed the odd square door in the shape of a red card which signified the secret entrance.
Inside I found the ginger master doing keeps ups with his flaccid cocck teeing the ball up quickly getting a semi and using it to volley the ball over to the summit of K2, where zidane' secret base is.
Was impressive. But Gerrard has never been there-there's photos of all visitors that have been, Gerrard wasn't one. Apparently he did get as far as the door, but slipped just as he was away to enter, taking his dreams with him
posted on 11/11/16
comment by Wahl Scholes (U21057)
posted 2 hours, 29 minutes ago
Average dude, it's the truth. Chelsea players were good but they never quite reached the elite level.
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So none of these Chelsea players reached elite level yet the one's you have mentioned all won the Champions League? How many CL's did Sol Campbell win? 0. Chelsea have won more PL titles than Arsenal as well in that era. Terry definitely outranks Campbell so idk what your on buddy but it sure isn't something good.
Not to mention that none of these Chelsea players get an honourable mention but Freddie Sears, Chuba Akpom and Lucas Perez do!?! Akpom and Sears barely ever played any games in the PL and Lucas Perez is a summer signing?
This article is so ridiculous mate it's completely hacked me right off that's how bad it is. What a complete and utter shambles, sort it out please.
posted on 11/11/16
So to all the people that haven't figured it out, this article was a parody of most Man Utd/Liverpool fans who for whatever reason think their players are God's gifts and refuse to acknowledge any other players as being even on the same level as their players. The fact is that Petr Cech was more or less equal to Peter Schmeichal. John Terry was more or less equal to Rio Ferdinand. Ashley Cole was the best full back to play in the PL and Frank Lampard was better than the hilariously ridiculously overrated Paul Scholes, and Didier Drogba belongs on that striker list right inbetween THierry Henry and Alan Shearer, Kicking Suarez off the list.
posted on 11/11/16
Alright well thanks mate for literally the most pointless WUM I've seen on this site to date. Much obliged.
Maybe next time incorporate some of your own clubs players on your list to make you feel better. How many clubs is it you support again? 1. United, 2. Chelsea, 3. Arsenal
Anymore for anymore?
posted on 11/11/16
I'm sorry I guess.
posted on 12/11/16
comment by JustYourAverageFan (U21016)
posted 1 day, 9 hours ago
I've just read through the last part of this. Saying no Chelsea players were included because they didn't reach "elite level".
And Sol Campbell at No.3 was elite was he.
I'd rather have Terry over Campbell any day.
Honourable mentions as well!? Chuba Akpom and Freddie Sears? Wtf is all that about. Must be some sort of wind up act surely?
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