Maf's nightmare

He took a deep breath. He couldn't believe his luck. Was this really happening?

His finger hovered over the submit button. He'd read the article preview at least four times now. This was going to be his biggest moment of the year.

The only problem was the exact syntax to use, should he opt for "looters" and "Chicken Children", or go for "tiny totts" with references to "desperate Dan". What does it matter, he thought, we have won at "looters lane".

And then, with a chuckle, he posted his brilliant wum, on 88 minutes. Oh boy, the Arsenal board kids are going to love me, he thought.

Three minutes later he had to change his entire article, to a call for officials to be investigated for bias.

As another tear rolled down his cheek, his boss asked him to stop looking at his phone and go back to cleaning toilets.