Embarrassing texts

I text her saying i was too good for her last night... Guess that's done.

House is wrecked, two pals on the couches, no sign of keys, business account has been spanked and my bathroom door is shattered.

Jimmy if you see my dignity or keys please send them on

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🙈

comment by Zachsda(until March) (U1850)
posted 36 minutes ago
comment by Admin1 (U1)
posted 1 hour, 6 minutes ago
Around 8.30pm yesterday I sent my wife a picture of the two strippers my mate was chatting up in the yuppie bar. I may have been thrown out shortly afterwards, I'm not sure. By 9.30 I was projectile vomiting in the park. Took me an hour to walk the 15min walk to train station. Then realised I'd left my wallet in the office and had to go back.

I literally have no idea just how much mortifying things I've done yesterday.
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Congratulations, a man to be admired
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Tried to cancel my cards. but was on the phone to RBS for 27mins but was so incoherent they couldn't find me in the system

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Just ask Malky McKay!

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Curly

Not a text but email.

I was secretly sh@gging a girl in work a good few years back. Nobody knew our little secret! We were mailing each other messages about what we were going to do to each other during lunch/after work etc..

One morning I was in the middle of sending a mail when my boss approached and out of sheer panic I went to the top of the page to the recipients and started adding people in the team. When he got to my desk all he could see was me adding people to a mail he knew nothing about. Anyways we had a chat about whatever it was and when we finished I instinctively turned and hit fooking send

The next 10 minutes was spent sprinting from desk to desk speaking gibberish and grabbing a mouse.