Can

Taxi for the whole team by the sound of things.

Uberpool.

He's too fat to fit

Why just Can when you could fill the taxi.

Simply not up to this level and he seems to have regressed this season. Three years to adapt and he hasn't done it. The performances are just poor every week.

Has to go in the summer I'm afraid.

A modal verb like Can just hasn't got what it takes to be a midfielder.

An adjective like Keane, or even an adverb like Cleverley, would be a better option.