The not for sale, sale

Evenin' all, Ken here.

Now as you may have heard I've been meeting a few folk with the potential of sticking in a few quid in the club and maybe even getting us a free set of Parker Pens and a cutlery set with only knives in. Sadly the scurrilous reporting of the unauthorised media and the devil that is twitbook on this has scuppered the idea as the folks involved didn't want any sort of poking into business.

As a result of this I've got my old thinking cap on, (sponsored by a well known brewery of good repute), and have come up with the fact that we are not looking for anyone to put money in, but as the down payment of the cutlery set has already gone through we are keeping it. I have no doubt I can use the set to sweeten any deal for transfers in January.

Now that money is tight again I decide the tea budget must be lowered back to standard tea with the odd piece of wood shaving to bolster. I am later told we've always had it this way. I therefore drastically cut the milk ration and remove coffee from all but essential drinking purposes.

Whilst I'm at it I also cut loose on the medical facilities. Out goes the fancy pants revive potions and energy gels and the like and instead our players will be powered by Monster Munch - who I've just made a deal with to be our official player energy supplier.

A few days later and as I write this we have a problem. Namely David Wheater has had a rather bad reaction to Monster Munch and has thrown up all over the training ground. Happily though he got some directly on a blank canvass print that we were going to get a local artist to do something with until he quoted us some ridiculous amount of money. Just my luck that I know of an art dealer who loves this kind of stuff and we may get top dollar.

Before the money comes through from our corn based vom masterpiece I urge you all to get down the club shop and get your "Down with unauthorised websites" t-shirts at a knock down price of £32.50 and get a £1.23 "Craig Noone" mug - Do note that the felt tip crossing out of Davies and shaky writing of Noone is a design piece and not a load of old stock we found in the back of the shop.

Happy buying and Cheers Easy,

Ken