Layton Maxwell - Scary Tactics on the Heath

Former Liverpool midfielder Layton Maxwell has revealed why he chose to quit the club in 2001 for Cardiff City. Maxwell, who was rated as one of the club’s most promising youngsters during the era, refused to take part in certain training activities and this made him feel alienated.

“I didn’t enjoy the cockoff," he admitted. “The boys would all line up and just pull em out. Let it all for show. That’s fine if you’ve got something to work with. Babby had a pole. Didi had a good old pipe. Even Eric Meijer had a baguette down there. But I was young and mine just didn’t hold up to their lofty heights. I tried many things to give it more authority and composure. Steroids, cream, lemon curd. None of it seemed to work apart from making it swing to the left."

Layton ended up refusing to take part in the cockoff and was fined two weeks wages by Gerard Houllier who was a keen practitioner of the ‘le plus grand le pôle le meilleur le joueur’ concept which was developed by French managers during the 80’s. Although it is a tactic no longer used by managers the use of it hasn’t been made officially illegal.

Maxwell admits that many foreign players seemed more at ease with the tactic.

“They couldn’t wait to whip it out. Eric Meijer used to stand quietly in the corner, pull it out and just wait patiently for everyone else to join him, grinning to himself. I hated the cockoff."