Bit dry on these boards today.
Heres a joke to cheer everyone up.
The missus came home steaming drunk last night.
"You up for some role play action, babe?" she asked with a wink.
"Not really," I replied.
"Oh, come on," she said. "We can act out ANY scene, from ANY film you want."
Walking over to her with a huge smile on my face, I noticed her expression change. She had realised her mistake, however it was too late. Where I had previously seen arousal in her eyes, I now saw only blind terror...
As I shouted, "THIS... IS... SPARTA!" and kicked her down the stairs.
Daily Joke
posted on 28/9/11
posted on 28/9/11
Next to the fruit and veg. Things you'll never use again
posted on 28/9/11
The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on
posted on 28/9/11
I just saw a pooh with teethmarks! It was a bit $hit.
posted on 28/9/11
I won the euro millions last week and to show how much I love my wife I said I'd give her half. She was broke down in tears with disbelief. Once she calmed down I asked her
"So darling what's it gonna be?"
Lost for words she replied
"Um I dunno, I mean the possibilities are endless..."
"what do you mean?"
"erm well theres the new car and uh what about the restaurant we've always dreamed of running. Why are you putting me on the spot now!"
"It's not hard love, fosters or strongbow"
posted on 28/9/11
Woman goes into the police station and says "Officer I've been graped"
The policeman replies, "Don't you mean Raped"
The woman answers " No, there were a bunch of them"
I'm here all week!
posted on 28/9/11
Tommy Cooper
"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays",
posted on 28/9/11
Liverpool FC
posted on 28/9/11
Two blondes walk into a bar...
You would have thought one of them would have seen it
posted on 28/9/11
what do you call a man with no arms or legs but still can swim. a clever dcik