'Twas the night before Christmas, switched off is his phone
Not a creature was stirring, Wullie Collum’s gone home;
His stockings were hung on the chimney after mass,
Penalty noises but what about Bajrami’s scheidt pass?.
The bears were nestled all snug in their beds,
With dreams of phoning Clyde 1 SSB in their head;
The Rangers board saying “trust in Clement please do"
The Rangers support can't decide who’s turn it is to be CEO?
The Admiral is gone, knocked down in a clatter,
Where are the JA drinks going to be? doesn’t matter
Away from JA a secret society does shine,
“Will someone just agree a fvcking meeting time?".
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
The Tories are gone, Labour making changes? Hell no!
When, what to Admin’s wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight JA reindeer,
With a little old driver, so loud to astound us,
I knew in a moment it had to be Lauders
More rapid than eagles his fellow cliquers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Magnum! now, Silver! now, Wee Jum and Shizo!
On Palaver! On Stevie! on Renegade and Shizo!
We are top of the league! Keep winning games is just vital!
Someone said “pah, you make more money getting to a Europa League Final"!
Gingernuts was having his lunch, with seasoned poulet in the pan,
Cinnamon, anise, coconut, saying to himself “I’m the man";
JFK appeared, "Oi, this isn’t the Ritz!,
It’s just chicken curry ya daft p00ft!ts".
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Juke came with a bound.
He was dressed up all smart, despite being way passed his peak,
though he still gets more comments than Maheed’s good guy of the week;
SPR by his side, is his return permanent? Not yet
He was gone again by the time Maeda’s penalty hit the net.
His eyes-how they twinkled! Zico placed bets time and again!,
His new moniker said, odds of 5 to 1 for a Tav Pen!;
Zachsda has now gone, not dead yet, just to Tesco,
They have a great offer, it’s on Chicken al fresco.
Pointy’s on the hunt, it doesn’t matter what’s between your legs,
In the morning he’ll make you scrambled eggs;
He does like it on here, everything he loves on a plate,
He's always thinking how to reply with “Rangers are dead, mate";
He was dry and quick witted, a right jolly old elf,
Insufferable piffle laughed anyway in spite of himself;
A wink of his eye and support from afar
He's not yet had a kicking in his favourite Jambo bar;
Fan Gilhaus cheered loud, he won a few wagers,
Sorry, say that again? We are going to finish above Rangers?,
Dave the Jackal has arrived he finally gets a shout out,
Only 40 more posters with no mentions who’ll pout;
Call Sign sprang to his sleigh, to the JA team gave a whistle,
And all the team cheered like a late winner at Thistle.
But I heard him exclaim to one and to all
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE, THANK GOD FOR FOOTBALL
Call Sign's Annual Christmas Poem
posted 1 week, 2 days ago
comment by Frank Connor - VAR Expert (U21900)
posted 3 minutes ago
comment by Insufferable-Piffle (U4388)
posted 1 hour, 16 minutes ago
How is Zach doing? Miss his craic on here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
He was one of the smartest and funniest shoplifters on this forum.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
posted 1 week, 2 days ago
comment by Frank Connor - VAR Expert (U21900)
posted 8 hours, 15 minutes ago
comment by Insufferable-Piffle (U4388)
posted 1 hour, 16 minutes ago
How is Zach doing? Miss his craic on here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
He was one of the smartest and funniest shoplifters on this forum.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Is mate, is.
posted 1 week, 1 day ago
comment by Silver (U6112)
posted 11 hours, 30 minutes ago
comment by Frank Connor - VAR Expert (U21900)
posted 8 hours, 15 minutes ago
comment by Insufferable-Piffle (U4388)
posted 1 hour, 16 minutes ago
How is Zach doing? Miss his craic on here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
He was one of the smartest and funniest shoplifters on this forum.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Is mate, is.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
He isn't on the forum
posted 1 week, 1 day ago
comment by Call Sign: Going for 120 (U3627)
posted 4 hours ago
comment by Silver (U6112)
posted 11 hours, 30 minutes ago
comment by Frank Connor - VAR Expert (U21900)
posted 8 hours, 15 minutes ago
comment by Insufferable-Piffle (U4388)
posted 1 hour, 16 minutes ago
How is Zach doing? Miss his craic on here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
He was one of the smartest and funniest shoplifters on this forum.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Is mate, is.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
He isn't on the forum
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Hopefully 2025 will see the Return of the Zach. 🤞
posted 1 week, 1 day ago
Great work cs
Yes I can confirm we go Carlisle in our best suits a week early.
Went on a pub crawl then had to take the following Wednesday off too.
Sitting outside the church wondering why it was so quiet
posted 1 week, 1 day ago
comment by Call Sign: Going for 120 (U3627)
posted 11 hours, 41 minutes ago
comment by Silver (U6112)
posted 11 hours, 30 minutes ago
comment by Frank Connor - VAR Expert (U21900)
posted 8 hours, 15 minutes ago
comment by Insufferable-Piffle (U4388)
posted 1 hour, 16 minutes ago
How is Zach doing? Miss his craic on here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
He was one of the smartest and funniest shoplifters on this forum.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Is mate, is.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
He isn't on the forum
----------------------------------------------------------------------
but he is still liberating chickens
posted 6 days, 11 hours ago
comment by lauders (U9757)
posted 20 hours, 8 minutes ago
Great work cs
Yes I can confirm we go Carlisle in our best suits a week early.
Went on a pub crawl then had to take the following Wednesday off too.
Sitting outside the church wondering why it was so quiet
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I can attest to this as it was my mum’s funeral
She’d have laughed.
And I gave them a mention in the eulogy
posted 6 days, 3 hours ago
I love stories like this.
Especially around sad occasions when it's needed most.
Can just picture them.
Obvs wasn't there but I know Zach suggested the pints first.
posted 6 days, 3 hours ago
comment by The Mighty Quinn (U4099)
posted 7 minutes ago
I love stories like this.
Especially around sad occasions when it's needed most.
Can just picture them.
Obvs wasn't there but I know Zach suggested the pints first.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Knowing Zachsda he asked for the money instead of the pint
posted 6 days, 3 hours ago
Harsh man.