What happened to ...

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perhaps Mr CGG is getting in touch with his feminine side and stole your mascara.

The laptop bag moving however is clearly the work of a sadistic deviant.

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"I always thought he'd look lovely with mascara'd eyelashes though ... so many men would."

I've always kind of wondered what the point of mascara is. I've never once met a bloke who's gone "blimey look at the lashes on her."

I've never once met a bloke who's gone "blimey look at the lashes on her."
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How many blokes do you know that have gone 'wow, look at her eyes'? Mascara isn't about having great eyelashes, it's just one tiny piece of a woman-sized jigsaw.

How many blokes do you know that have gone 'wow, look at her eyes'? Mascara isn't about having great eyelashes, it's just one tiny piece of a woman-sized jigsaw.
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women have eyes? I'll have to remember to look that far up at some point and find out if you are telling the truth

women have eyes? I'll have to remember to look that far up at some point and find out if you are telling the truth
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Are you some sort of dwarf ZZ?

no, i just tend to be looking lower

Pervert.

"How many blokes do you know that have gone 'wow, look at her eyes'?"

Not very many. However when talking to a woman many men will pick out the eyes as something that attracted them to said woman because it sounds less pervy than "you've got a fantastic rack".