Spankings and thrashings

Now this isn't what you think you bunch of pervs but I have noticed that there seems to be differing opinions as to when a defeat is a thrashing or a spanking or whatever. So here are my thoughts:

1-0 thrashing = when a team misses dozens of chances with 60% possession or more whilst the opposition does nothing (West Brom style)

2-0 = soundly beaten

3-0 = strolled to victory

4-0 = thrashed

5 to 8 goals victory = spanking

9 goals or greater margin = absolute spanking

By this I deduce that:

Spurs 1-5 City = thrashed

Utd 1-6 City = spanking

Utd 8-2 L'Arsenal = spanking

Spurs 4-0 Liverpool = thrashed

There you have it. The definitive breakdown!