*Arsene is in his office slowly drinking coke through a straw. Suddenly Theo comes rushing in*
Theo: ARSENE!!!
*Arsene holds up his hand to indicate he needs time to drink his drink. Theo waits. Arsene sucks slowly*
Theo: Arsene I-
*Arsene holds up his hand. Finally he's finished*
Theo: Arsene, how's it going with the Gervinho transfer and Samba and Cahill? Are we any closer to wrapping any of these deals up?
*Arsene takes a napkin from his drawer and dabs his mouth*
Theo: Arsene?
Arsene: Theo. You must realise these things take time.
Theo: How much longer do we need to wait!?
*Arsene slowly opens his drawer and takes out two slices of bread. He then brings out a block of cheese*
Theo: What are you doing?
Arsene: It's time for my lunch.
*Arsene slowly unwraps the clingfilm around the cheese and sets it down. He then walks slowly to another drawer, takes out a knife and sits back down*
Theo: You making a sandwich?
*Arsene smiles and nods. He slowly carves the cheese into nice thin strips and places them carefully on one of the slices of bread*
Arsene: I like cheese sandwich.
Theo: The hell with that! I'm hungry too, let's go down to the canteen, get a proper lunch.
*Arsene ponders*
Theo: Come on! Why must everything you do be soooo slow! You're the same with these transfers!
*Arsene looks down at his sandwich and frowns*
Arsene: But what about my sandwich?
*Theo grabs Arsene's arm and pulls him out the chair, he and Arsene make their way to the canteen. They queue up, finally Theo is at the front. Sharon the dinnerlady smiles at Theo*
Theo: Can I have the fish please, with chips Sharon.
Sharon: You can my boy.
*Sharon plates up Theo's lunch. She turns to Arsene*
Sharon: Hello Arsene, we've not seen you down here for a good while, what'll it be sir?
*Arsene ponders, he looks over the array of food*
Arsene: Hmmmmmm, I'm not sure, the fish looks nice, but so does the chicken. I like beef too, do I get gravy with the beef?
Sharon: You can if you want Arsene.
Arsene: Hmmmmmmmm......OK, I've made a decision.....
*Theo looks on in suspense*
Arsene: I will go with...............
Arsene: The fish! No! Chicken! Actually the beef!
Sharon: The beef? Are you sure?
Arsene: No.
Theo: COME ON ARSENE! MINE IS GETTING COLD!!!
Arsene: DON'T PRESSURE ME THEO! This is important!
*Arsene looks over the food. He is sweating with having to make a decision*
Arsene: Oh God, I just don't know!
Sharon: Do you want a bit of each?
*Arsene looks at her with delight*
Arsene: Can you do that!? That would be great!
*Before Arsene can change his mind, Sharon plates up a bit of fish, chicken and beef with some gravy. She hands him the plate*
Arsene: Fantastic!
*They both move down to pay*
Sharon: OK, fish and chips Theo, that'll be £6.99.
Theo: Here you go.
*Theo hands over the money*
Sharon: Now Arsene, I'll just charge you the same to make it easier, £6.99 please.
*Arsene slowly pulls out his wallet. He looks at her as he slowly pulls out a five pound note. He sets the note down on the counter*
Arsene: I'll give you five.
*Sharon looks at him with confusion*
Sharon: No, no Arsene, it's £6.99.
*Arsene frowns. He dips into his wallet and pulls out a 2p coin and slides it across the counter*
Arsene: My offer is £5.02.
The Speed of Arsene
posted on 23/6/11
I'm 28
posted on 23/6/11
Maybe we could suggest to the Admins some age related boards. You have to enter your age when you sign up, which is non-changeable.
So, the 90s ay, phew, what was that all about?
posted on 23/6/11
I'm 42.
Am always being told I don't look it.
Am always being told I don't act it.
I like ta fink i is dahn wid da kidz, init?
==========================================
I'd rather act my age at 42 and I would hope I had a good enough job so would not be sitting around on a foum all day.
posted on 23/6/11
I'm 28
------------------------------------------------------
28 is the premium age I do believe.
posted on 23/6/11
"I'd rather act my age at 42 and I would hope I had a good enough job so would not be sitting around on a foum all day."
I think when you get to 42 a good job is one you can just spend all day on forums. The older I get the less I want to work. Retirement can't come quick enough. What's the minimum amount I could disable myself and never have to work again do you reckon?
posted on 23/6/11
What's the minimum amount I could disable myself and never have to work again do you reckon?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Permanent brain damage?
posted on 23/6/11
"Permanent brain damage?"
I'm not sure they'd notice the difference at my work. They do pay Jamie Redknapp's wages remember.
posted on 23/6/11
Try chopping of a finger one by one until someone tells you you cant use a keyboard anymore.
posted on 23/6/11
What's the minimum amount I could disable myself and never have to work again do you reckon?
---------------
Just tell the social that your back hurts a bit and they'll give you a disability living allowance. They're pretty slack and probably wont even bother checking
posted on 23/6/11
We have just had a powercut for the last couple of hours and it brought the whole town to a standstill. If you don't want to work and don't want to harm yourself think of a way of creating a power outage a your workplace