Maynard....

The Leicester Mercury's time machine is on our side

Considering it's the Mercury, I'm impressed that they don't have us waiting on a decision about Bill Maynard.

No doubt when the time comes they'll announce that we've just signed Alan B'Stard.

Bill maynard is already a star of Leicester.

please not peter!! he can hardly move rather have ricardo!

By the time the Mercury has finished, we'll have signed Schmeichel Schumacher in goal and have a £3m bid in for Maynard Winegum.

Good old Leicester Mercury - if we can't rely on our local paper to get it right what can we do?

I'm thinking of applying to be a proof reader there - they certainly seem in need of one!!

I've no knowledge of the internal workings of the Mercury specifically, but my experience of that newspaper group is that, over the last decade, it has piled more and more work on fewer and fewer staff, with inevitable results. Don't get me wrong, the Peter Schemeichel error is daft, but reporters always make daft errors – their fevered minds are prone to word association.

As an editor or sub-editor, you learn to expect writers to make references to 'Norman the Conqueror' and 'great white whales' terrorising Australian beaches. I've cleaned up sentences as mad as "Whoopi Goldberg is best described as the black Eddie Murphy"! But on a properly staffed paper, these things don't get into print.

So, just saying: it's probably not the staff but the lack of it.

He's signing for ya big neighbours ya drips

We don't have any big neighbours...