Wunter Under Meijer Interview JT

Wunter Under Meijer Interview England Captain and true legend

Respected German sports magainze Wunter Under Meijer have been first with the major scoop again, as they bagged an interview with John Terry as he hides under his sofa away from prying eye.

Terry, though exhausted following playing the role of Don Corleone recently is a truly excellent, domineering, critically acclaimed (Well, SKY-acclaimed anyway) and generally all round saint of a man who granted us exclusive access to the rear of his sofa. He appeared to be in a relaxed mood as he discussed issues such as his impending elevation to Chelsea manager, glorious return to England duty and the launch his new grooming product lines - including Eau d'boas aftershave (made in Portugal, bottled in london) and Wax de la bridge douche cream gel - and, of course, his new pet peeve the long arm of the law..

He bristled, however, when Wunter reporter moreinjuredthanowen asked him about the effect his going to ground would have on Chelsea and thier fans.

''They're finding it hard, no question'', explains the greatest English player of his generation™ ''Some of them have been poking cameras in the windows and just don’t get I need to lay low until the heat is off."

We had to confront JT, a man mountain and ehro to boys and girls like Dave Pundit that in In fact, in a recent poll conducted by Wunter Under Meijer, a worrying 43% of Chelsea fans said that they would seriously consider going back to supporting Manchester United if both results and style of play didn't improve while another 40% said they’d already gotten city shirts.

“Sure, I know how they feel, I mean I took action, I had to make him an offer he couldn’t refuse, if you know what I mean" Terry cryptically mused.

When we remarked that in fact he was making no sense at all and really we’d feel better if he’d just sit on the sofa rather than hide under that unwashed duvet he finally clarified the point

“Young Andre mate… Young Andre. We had to take him out see. Nothing personal just business. I mean we ended up with this teenage girl up front and it just wasn’t on. I mean Frank can’t sit on the bench, he’s got too heavy, the blood gets cut off from his legs if he sits form more than 5 minutes and as for Didier well he wants to leave and I can’t be losing by lieutenants can i?"

We simply had to ask why Drogba apparently wanted to leave, hoping for a world exclusive.

“Drogs aint happy mate, not happy at all, think of all the times he literally wept blood for me. The times he’s risked his neck for his leader? Damn it all he must get stretchered off the field last season with his hands over his face at least 40 times a game when I play. Andre never got that commitment."

With that we slowly back out of the hall as Terry boarded himself in with a bottle of scotch and a sawn off so he could watch more re-runs of the sopranos and wait for the day England come a ringing.



Wunter Under Meijer - The truth must be out there, because it certainly isn't in here.