Wunter Under Meijer interviews Rafa

Another weekend visit to the past for a classic wunter. This is from 2009

Rafa Reveals Secret To Recent Success

Rafa Benitez has revealed the main reason for his side's excellent start to the season - and bizarrely it seems to have more to do with a variety of drinks than his new signings... At least that's as far as us simple folk at Wunter Under Meijer can make out.

''Of course we expected such an improvement'', muses Rafa when Wunter ask him if he was surprised by the start his team had made. ''When you bring in as much Koala Tea as we did in the summer, you expect to have better play, better results and a better league position.''

The conversation took an even more bizarre twist when Rafa was asked why he had spent so much money on the likes of Robbie Keane if all he needed was Koala Tea. ''I felt that the squad needed better Men Tally Tea, so Robbie brought that, for sure. He showed at Spurs and with Ireland that he has the right Men Tally Tea - not so strong that he gets into trouble, but not so weak that he can't influence the game. For sure, it's easy to see that Robbie's Men Tally Tea has improved the sqwad, no?''

Getting more and more baffled as this conversation goes on (and also remembering Fernando Torres being similarly confused by Rafa mentioning his Koala Tea when we interviewed him last season), we try to change the topic and ask him about how Albert Riera is adapting to life in the cut and thrust of the Premiership.

''Albert is getting along fine. Obviously, he is a player who gives us many Posha Billy Teas because he is versatile, he likes to run at the full-back, he can defend and he can cross and shoot. He didn't bring these Posha Billy Teas to Man City because maybe their manager didn't give him enough Liber Teas on the field. But for sure, if you give Albert Liber Teas, he will give you many Posha Billy Teas in return when he plays, no?''

Absolutely astounded by how much an obscure collection of teas can have on a team's start to a season, Wunter can take no more and sign off with one last question: Can Liverpool mount a serious challenge this season?

The affable Benitez shrugs, smiles and offers us one last philosophical nugget: ''Maybe it's to early to say, no? Certainly, beating United and Chelsea so early has given us Op Or Tuna Teas, but we must stay focused an take one game at a time. We must treat each opponant with respect, because in football there are no For Mala Teas - you must fight, utilise the Koala Tea and Posha Billy Teas your players give you and combine them to make Op Or Tuna Teas for yourself to get points, for sure.''

Err... Thanks, Rafa...