Robbie Fowler!!!!!!

No, you're thinking of Pauline Quirk.

Whereas of course if this story was in that 'quality' red top, the Sun, it would be gospel yes?

It won't come to anything anyway. Getting him for the remainder of the season wouldn't be bad but there's no point disrupting things when we have at last discovered our scoring touch.

Up the owls!!!!

I don't think anyboody said that, are you a Mail reader by any chance Tom?

Oddly enough Mike given I'd rather defecate on my ballot paper and eat it than vote Tory, yes I am.

But the Sun does have a trio of good pages. Page 3, the back page and Dear Deirdrie. So whilst my 7 week old lad could come up with better stuff than the majority of Murdoch's hacks, all is not lost.

Up the owls!!!!

Yes, but how are his phone hacking skills?

Not sure Mike, but he's already a dab hand at dropping bombshells that people would rather not really have to put up with looking at so maybe he has a future on Fleet St!

Up the owls!!!!

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Why thank you Izzy, your words are too kind. And perhaps when I am a fully paid up wordsmith, I could doff my cap to that most worthy of causes, Age Concern, and contact your good self should I need a tea maker

Up the owls!!!!

Tut tut, Owlstom! Everybody's equal at commie rags like the Guardian - you take turns to make the tea. Thanks for the offer though.

Nah well past it