7.2 Stats That Prove Messi Isn't the Best

Best of hi.

People keep shouting Messi's stats at me whilst I am on the line, or walking down the street, or taking a well earned bath, or excreting food in which I previously enjoyed as a meal, shouting at me that he is the best player ever.
Why must they always shout these conveniently positive stats about Messi, especially in places in which that I would enjoy not to be shouted at. <--(Edit: should be a question mark here, but too much effort to change it now. Didn't notice it when reading it over, or for a long time after I pressed publish, so guessing no one will notice if I don't change it now.)
Here are the stats they don't tell you, and why Messi should not be considered the best: (Feel free to shout these at me whilst I am in places of which I enjoy)

1) Messi has never scored against the 05/06, 08/09 or the 10/11 Champions League winners.

2) None of Messi's last 13 home league goals for Barcelona were scored outside the Nou Camp.

3) Messi has not scored more goals than Barcelona's all time record goalscorer.

4) Messi has never scored a hatrick without the aid of having scored 2 goals earlier in the match. Good players don't rely on 2 previous goals.

5) Messi, or Barcelona, have never won or even drawn in the Republic of Congo.

6) Messi record v Cowdenbeath: Goals: 0, assists 0.

7) Messi is short.

Those were the stats the La Liga biased government don't want to tell you, so when they recruit their shouters for shouting the positive Messi stats at you when you are in inconvenient places, those are the ones they don't want you to hear. It's a conspiracy.

Bye.