I would have stood on the touchline with a meat cleaver in my hand and any player that didn't perform would lose their head.

Punched kenny dalglish when he got in my face and started swearing at me.

If I was in control now I would put in 2 decent offers for Cahill and Samba. I'd tell Nasri to take the contract offered or go, but he won't be going to Man City or Man City. I'll sell him to one of Kroenke's rubbish sides

Also I would finish off the Gervinho transfer and also bring in Hazard or Alvarez

I would give Theo and big hug too

Instead of throwing defenceless water bottles into the ground I would instead throw water bottles that had a history of violence into the ground.

Then I would have won the quadruple!

I'd have identified the players who weren't worth poo quicker than Wenger has. I'd have brought in more players with a fighting mentality, and I'd have hired somebody more convincing to deliver motivational teamtalks. Mr Motivator or Mel Gibson or somebody.

Mr Motivator or Mel Gibson or somebody.
------------------------------
bring in Wincy Willis as a fitness coach

I'd put a horses head in the bed of every underperformer...

I would hit the heads of our opponents until they would be unable to defend themselves.

I would inject gallons of bull testosterone into our players!

I would tell Barcelona that Cesc is not for sale for less than £45 million but still hold out until Xavi is 32 next season and ask for £45 million and sell him then.

By now I would have completed the Gervinho signing and have the Samba deal tied up for about 6-8 million as 4th choice CB. I would then tell Nasri to stay at Arsenal and offer him a 4 year contract upon which I would either sell him and buy Aguero or keep him depending on the answer.
On the other hand, with Clichy I would tell him straight that if he wants to leave then he can and then get on the look out for a good LB.
Also get much needed back up for Song.

Summary:

In:
LB (10m)
DM (5m)
Samba (8m)
Gervinho (10m
Aguero (35m)

Out:
Almunia (5m)
Denilson (5m)
Nasri (20m)
Clichy (10m)
Squilacci (5m)
Bendtner (loan)


My team for next season would be:

---------------------------Szczesny------------------------
---Sagna------Djourou-----Vermaelen---NewLB---
--------------------Song--------Wilshere-----------------
--------------------------Fabregas-------------------------
---Walcott-----------Van Persie------Nasri/Aguero-

Subs:
Fabianski
Gibbs
Samba
Koscielny
Eboue
Ramsey
DM
Arshavin
Gervinho
Chamakh
Rosicky
Etc.



Chan!

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