Comment deleted by Site Moderator

I said to the doctor, what can you give me for wind...

He handed me a kite

Told the doc I only had 30 seconds to live.

Said he'd see me in a minute.

ah the great tommy cooper. i told the doctor i've broken my arm in many places. he said well don't go to those places

Doctor, I've got this pain in my chest...

Have you had it before? Yes, I said...

Well you've got it again

Doctor, I'm feeling sick

Well wash your hands then.

Doctor, I have a wart on my coq..

Take it to the vet then

A man goes into the hospital for some tests. The medical staff knock him out, and when he comes around there is a doctor peeering over him, you know pulling up the eyelid and wielding the reflex hammer.
The doctor says, "Ah, I’m glad you’re awake. I’m afraid I have some mixed news."

The man says "Don’t hold back Doc, tell me the bad news."

The doctor says "It was worse than we thought; we had to amputate your left leg."

The man then asks "What is the good news then?"

The doctor replies, "The man in the next bed wants to buy your slippers."

Boom Boom

‘Doctor, doctor, I can’t stop my hands shaking!’ ‘Do you drink a lot?’ ‘Of course not. I spill most of it!’


Specially for Ath

I had to visit an Urologist in Thailand. Whilst examining me she said, "Don't worry. It's quite normal at this stage to have an erection."
"I don't have an erection, Doc.", I said
"No, but I do.", she replied.

Why me?

Its jokes were trading on this page Ishy not fantasies

sorry mate couldnt resist

comment by Celtictornado (U4316)
posted 48 seconds ago
Its jokes were trading on this page Ishy not fantasies
==

well contribute then

An elderly woman takes her sick rabbit to the vets. Vet puts the bunny on the examiniation table and then brings in a cat which he places next to the ailing rabbit. The cat looks at the rabbit and sniffs it and then meows at the vet before he takes it away. Then he leads in a labrador which sniffs the rabbit and licks it all over, and barks exitedly. The vet leads the woman and the rabbit out gives her a handful of tablets and gives her a bill for £780. She faints and when she comes round asks how he charges such an outrageous sum for a few tablets
He replies "Well the tablets are £30. Then theres £250 for the Cat scan and £500 for the Lab tests"
ta daaaaah

well contribute then
________________

I just did

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OA61Xdz33E

"DOCTOR, HELP, I CANT FEEL MY LEGS"


"That's because we had to amputate yer arms"

comment by Celtictornado (U4316)
posted 1 minute ago
well contribute then
________________

I just did

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OA61Xdz33E

===

cant do links

Tell us a joke

I dont think people going to a practitioner with a medical condition should be a laughing matter

Lighten up ffs, ct.

A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair. "Comfy?" asks the dentist.
"Govan," she replies.

dont think people going to a practitioner with a medical condition should be a laughing matter
------

Unless they are getting a sense of humour bypass...

doctor i feel like a cowboy, how long you felt like that he asks, a yeeeehaaaaaaar

comment by Call Me Ishmael - Listen...there were comments within this article that affect my family directly (U8699)
posted 13 minutes ago

A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair. "Comfy?" asks the dentist.
"Govan," she replies.

__________________________________________

Thats a teaker

Lighten up ffs, ct.
===

Unless they are getting a sense of humour bypass...

exactly