'...and i will be donating all the profits to charity'

Ps if the whip round is for a cyanide pill then i will chip in a couple of quid

Ken bates speech will simply say " GOODBYE MORONS "

"'...and i will be donating all the profits to charity'"
is that for me or KB ??
if it's me, knowing the suggestions you lot are gonna put, i'll not be donating much
if it's for KB, he'll probably tell you "Chaeity begins at Home "

ffs Charity

I don't think a leaving speech will be necessary. If he does decide to sell up, i think he should be given a space to write in the programme, so that he can keep in touch with Leeds fans, delight us with his stories and in general tell us what's going on in the world and football.

Obviously if he sells up before the season opener against Wolves, we should sing Xminutes for every £million that he has spent on transfer fees whilst at Leeds. The game is on Sky so the tribute will be viewed worldwide and no doubt will leave Ken feeling immensely proud of his work at Leeds.

Ken, You are the weakest link, Goodbye..

Aye Lancs, with a special mention to the Whingers

He'll shout "Money Fight"

We won't hear anything though

I dont know highlandwhite you must have yellow on your mind

Sir Ken............it's gonna be quiet

Could you imagine if the new owners are the quatar royal family

Yeah, fair point Highland, we'll have to incorporate his name into Marching On Together.....

btw, is anyone thinking of organising a whip round for his going away prezzie
...............................................

Highland, I'm not a whipping kind of person, but I'll happily provide thumbscrews if required.

As for his leaving speech, it would be unprintable, so don't hold your breath for 50p per usable entry. You know that haggling is his second favourite hobby just behind ripping off Leeds fans.

Comment deleted by Site Moderator

Jamie, you have access to thumbscrews ....

Friends, Morons and Countrymen,

It is with great sadness that I find myself having to leave this once great club that I have personally saved three times.

Both my wife Susannah and I have thoroughly enjoyed ourselves here and have a lovely home in Monaco to prove the point.

With my retirement fund close to bursting we both felt the time was right to move aside and let some other unfortunate soul pick up the pieces that we've left.

Many years' ago when we arrived here, the club was in dire straits, in the Championship but heading nowhere. Believe it or not we had significant debt at this club with some idiot borrowing money against future ticket sales to strengthen the squad.

I'm pleased to say that we arrested that slide. We gave an old friend of mine a job, Dennis Wise, who was canny enough to get us relegated. We also managed to take the club into administration and make approximately 18 million in the process. Good business if you ask me.

We did all of this in order to win some silverware on the cheap. And we did, runners-up in League One. It did take a few managers and a few years to get there, but get there we did.

Since then I've managed to keep the team in the Championship without spending too much money and also selling some of our so-called stars. Tell me this, how many of these players have actually won anything since leaving Leeds? Not one of them, so I think I'm justified in selling below par players despite their popularity.

I've bought a new manager in. Colin. Nice bloke, too much hair if you ask me but pleasant nonetheless. I was told I've have some issues with him but I have to say he's no different to the rest of the managers that I've had in here.

I tell them what they want to hear, they sign on and then I move the goalposts and they accept it without a murmur. Colin's no different. Great bloke. He's even bought into my transfer philosophy.

If they're worth a fee, sell them. Half the income and then buy someone less likely to want to succeed and older. Works a treat. The morons keep spending anyway so why the fuss?

So the club is in a good place and that makes me feel like I've done more than anyone else ever has for Leeds United.

I leave the club in the Championship and with the current squad Colin is assembling, they'll be heading nowhere fast. At the same time I've improved the ground that I don't own without spending my money by borrowing against future ticket sales.

It's a great idea and I'm surprised no-one else has ever thought of it before.

Goodbye Leeds United. I once stated that I wouldn't sleep until this club was kicked out of the league. Well I nearly achieved it. I only hope Colin can finish the job for me.

God bless me.

Ken "Master" Bates

St. Kenneth's Address to the fans:

For club shall rise against club, and fan against a
supporter; and there shall be higher ticket prices and
plenty of pestilence for those with sexual diseases,
last minute goals against in diverse places such as
Torquay and Dagenham. This will be your sorrows
you Leeds fans...I saved you twice and Ive had no
thanks....ye shall be hated throughout the world of
football, no change there then!
I say to you all, this generation shall not pass, till all
these things be fulfilled....apparently!

Stevie
Thanks Mate, i'll split the 50p with you if i ever see it

I suspect we'll only see 10p out of the 50 due to agents' fees and currency conversion rates......

NJS, ta Mate, that's a quid i've made, glass of vimto for you when i see you

"I suspect we'll only see 10p out of the 50 due to agents' fees and currency conversion rates......"
Cheers Stevie, NJS Forget the Vimto

....

Jamie, you have access to thumbscrews
.............................................

Highland, I can make anything with play doh, so working with steel shouldn't be a problem.
Failing that, a sock filled with marbles definitely makes a deep and lasting impression.

For every negative you have to have a positive...

I will let you decide, Silver Fox, which is which?!