You have a bible. Read a random passage to him in a loud, preacher's voice for a while, then finish and declare that the passage shows why you are not buying one of his books.

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So he made you buy two. One for you, one for your girlfriend?

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Afraid so, I had to buy 2 or he would think I was single its her birthday present though so at least something good has come out of it.

comment by D'Jeezus Mackaroni. (U1137)
posted 26 seconds ago
while very well paid,
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Charity work?

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I know some charity work is well paid but chugging on the high street is well paid? In London's exorbitant standard of living?

Charity workers earn more money in a week than most people could spend in a month

I find that picking my nose then my ear and then my ass before picking my teeth usually works.

Failing that just tell the guy you are desperate for a dump drop a fart and leave

Afraid so, I had to buy 2 or he would think I was single its her birthday present though so at least something good has come out of it.
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Why would you care if he thought you were single?
Was he looking for a date as well?

Not to mention attractive girls will think I am mental
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But you have a girlfriend?

The pay (and I was quite young) was a guaranteed £20K a year. Not bad for something where other people earn minimum wage for doing much the same thing.

Ask them if they believe in Jesus and start preaching. Failing that, just scream rape

My old man has a couple of decent tricks to get read of telemarketing callers

He says before we start, can I have your home phone number seeing as you have mine Oh, sometimes he screams wtf are you doing in my living room at them to, as well as the Jesus thing

He saves up junk mail and waits until he gets one with a big return envelope attached to it, he then puts all the stuff he's saved and sends it back to them

Charity workers having it large!

comment by UnitedRedMacca-The Ralph Milne of The JA606 Manchester United Pun Team (U2024)
posted 3 seconds ago
Ask them if they believe in Jesus and start preaching. Failing that, just scream rape

My old man has a couple of decent tricks to get read of telemarketing callers

He says before we start, can I have your home phone number seeing as you have mine Oh, sometimes he screams wtf are you doing in my living room at them to, as well as the Jesus thing

He saves up junk mail and waits until he gets one with a big return envelope attached to it, he then puts all the stuff he's saved and sends it back to them

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Ha ha ha

I wish i had the time for that but top man!

Funnily enough, I've just had a cancer research guy banging on my door, asking to give to charity. They actually try and make you feel bad when you say no.

Lucky for me, I am dead inside so I just end up saying no, and closing the door.

He saves up junk mail and waits until he gets one with a big return envelope attached to it, he then puts all the stuff he's saved and sends it back to them

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its just so much effort

Lucky for me, I am dead inside so I just end up saying no, and closing the door.
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Funnily enough, I've just had a cancer research guy banging on my door, asking to give to charity. They actually try and make you feel bad when you say no.

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Don't like the people at the door but if its for cancer I like to give a couple of quid. Its different with the wheel chair people. Once they have the wheel chair there is nothing else to buy for them. Most of them already have a wheelchair so wheres my money going?

Every time I get mail with a return envelop I send it back with nice little note inside just to make them bar stewards pay the postage, I fecking hate junk mail

United, I have a mate who glued a brick to a postage paid envelope.
Funnily enough he never got another offer from that company.

Wow that's a bit low, they need new tyres al the time and if it's an electric one or one of them super fast buggies they even need serviced

Ozil

You could sneakily put a brick through the City store window and point at him with horror after

Don't like the people at the door but if its for cancer I like to give a couple of quid. Its different with the wheel chair people. Once they have the wheel chair there is nothing else to buy for them. Most of them already have a wheelchair so wheres my money going?

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So wrong, yet so funny.

Don't like the people at the door but if its for cancer I like to give a couple of quid. Its different with the wheel chair people. Once they have the wheel chair there is nothing else to buy for them. Most of them already have a wheelchair so wheres my money going?
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To pay chuggers 20K a year.

Good way to get rid of chuggers is to respond in a not very commonly spoken language (not Polish then), that will tend to make them back off pronto!

Once they have the wheel chair there is nothing else to buy for them. Most of them already have a wheelchair so wheres my money going?

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Stairlifts, ramps, shower rooms. Plenty of stuff.

What's to stop any clown who's a bit broke from just saying:"Hello. I'm from The Afflicted Society" can I have some of your money?"

Stairlifts, ramps, shower rooms. Plenty of stuff.

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When my gran was put in a wheelchair she had to pay for all them. I don't think they are free?