I was going to post a serious post about the importance of protecting hamstrings and you don't want to rush Forrest back early given his value to you, but I see this has moved on quite significantly

I always pay a visit to the clap clinic before beginning a new relationship for a wee bit of peace of mind. That way you know she gave it to you rather than you giving it to her

Ivan

Yeah i done that before i started seeing my wife as i was a right wee c0w for over 2 years prior to her.

Eh, you didn't really answer my question...
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sorry

no.

I like how you guys all talk in past tense, due to the fact that you're all old, boring basstards now.

You'll be referred to in the past tense after i slit yer throat anymore of your cheek.

has a point tbf

i'm refusing to pump my wife while shes pregnany, its very wrong and i'm not doing it.

Comment deleted by Site Moderator

She’s not going short



Must be safe from you then.

Ahh the glory days.........

Prob told this before but some bird text me by accident saying she had on her new bra - we got talkin and turned out she was filth. Out for a few drinks after the scottish cup final day (Ki screamer) back to mine and rumpy pumpy ensued.

RATTLE ME was the cry as i was on top of her.

Choice words eh

comment by Zachsda(John Beaton, Paul Heaton, muff eatin (U1850)
posted 1 minute ago
comment by JFK - The Rebel Treble - Stage 1 complete. (U8919)
posted 2 minutes ago
has a point tbf

i'm refusing to pump my wife while shes pregnany, its very wrong and i'm not doing it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Don’t fret mate
She’s not going short
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unlike you...

"rattle me"

she sounds like wife material

rumpy pumpy ensued.




Mate, yer wean doesn't read the site

comment by JFK - The Rebel Treble - Stage 1 complete. (U8919)
posted 1 minute ago
has a point tbf

i'm refusing to pump my wife while shes pregnany, its very wrong and i'm not doing it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

ffs, look, since I like you and because I'm a good guy I'm willing to step in and help you out by giving her a good seeing to.

You owe me for this.

I've got a wee red mark at the top of my neck as it goes into my head, my mates at school told me it was because my Da was pumping my ma whilst she was preggers and it was his boaby that caused it

In other news, I'm really looking forward to the game tonight

Comment deleted by Site Moderator

As you may have guessed i never married her

I've got a wee red mark at the top of my neck as it goes into my head, my mates at school told me it was because my Da was pumping my ma whilst she was preggers and it was his boaby that caused it
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here is my arguement, thats really close to put a boab to a baby.

say i pumped her the day before she gave birth (bluegh), see the next day if i put the kid in a carrier bag and had my boab a few inches away thats out of order.

same logic applies.

nae boabs near babies

Unless you enter through the back door.

I didn't do it much either to be fair, was awkward as fluck man.

I ended up chugging twice a day because of it. Felt like i was 15 again.

Comment deleted by Site Moderator

still too close for my liking, thing is she thought i was kidding at first.

no happy when she found out i was serious

I was the same especially further on in the pregnancy - she wasnt that pleased either, typical wummin

I love how they tell the woman to eat hot curries.

Clearly failing to understand the consequences of her erse being like a sewer until the wean pops oot.

I remember she got an extra hot vindaloo one night and i thought i'd give it a try.

If i was pregnant, the wean would have slipped right oot as it blew my barse to bits.

Ano its a weird theory, not like the baby is going to fly our her erse, also theres not normally the need to push much after a hot curry