Did they share it with the FA or visa versa?

Teach him how to fight. iit will soon stop

Emigrate .

Bullying is in every school.

It’s how the leadership choose to deal with it that’s important.

If my lad gets bullied i will try let school deal with it.

If this bullying continued after the school not dealing with it in a way in which you have described then i would be only left with one option.

I would find out anyway possible to identify the bully's dad and would politely explain what has been happening with evidence to back it up.

If this bully's dad tells me to feck off then would again in a polite way explain that if his kid ever touches my lad again then expect me to do the same to his dad.

I would not let anyone continually bully my son.

Makes my pi55 boil just thinking about it.

Hate bullies with a passion.

We all deal with things differantly.


Feel sorry for you jonty. Hope its sorted for you and your lad.

1 star, it wasn't so much to talk about my son, more the process we encountered which seems completely flawed and one wonders how close the FA's process is to this.

My daughter suffered similar, at a similar age. Kids, mostly older, singled her out both at school and online (that was their big error). Went on for a bit, got really abusive and threatening. Really impacted on her life and her demeanour.

Raised it with the school, initially got similar treatment to what you describe Jonty. They tried to insinuate it was my daughters fault (i'm not saying she was an angel by the way), but the stuff online was something else and quite coordinated. One teacher who was supposed to be arbitrating we later found out was a family friend of one of the kids perpetrating, so totally unbiased there then!! I wrote to the headmaster, mentioned Ofsteds view of such matters and how they're handled, that seemed to rattle the right cages. He was really proud of his Ofsted rating at the time and I think his ego and career ambitions persuaded him to get his staff to take things more seriously.

My then wife also worked with the child protection services who had the ability to intervene, as did the police who we also spoke to and in fairness were really good and proactive.

Net result is we had the kids in a meeting room in the school, along with parents, plus someone from child services and the police. The screenshots i'd taken, along with username evidence from social media, absolutely left no doubt as to what was said and who by. We were lucky in that sense I guess, we had visible evidence to reinforce the bullying going on in the corridors and classrooms.

I get the lean towards nailing the other dads, I really do. During the meeting I really wanted to reach across the table a couple of times to lamp them, especially when the old chestnut of my daughter toughening up was mentioned. To be fair to the school the kids (and parents) were given an ultimatum of any repetition and they'd be out. It did do the trick and she was left alone. Ironically, nearly 10 years on, she's actually now best mates with one of the kids who used to do it ……. bizarre but true ….

Jonty, this is a very serious issue, and I hope this gets sorted.

Comment deleted by Site Moderator

comment by Jonty (U4614)
posted 55 minutes ago
Bullying is in every school.

It’s how the leadership choose to deal with it that’s important.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Agree to a point, but I think it should go further, the authorities should step in as its a dangerous behaviour. We also have vast social media now, and teachers and school govs wont do sheet about stuff outside the school grounds, yet fellow pupils will be on social media regardless.

Authorities and parents are as equally responsible.

I don't have children yet, but I know for a fact that it my child was bullied, the parents of that kid would be informed politely once.

comment by Adam Z Lucifer - Rooneysrage9 (U22327)



posted 1 hour, 27 minutes ago


Teach him how to fight. iit will soon stop

----------------------

thing is, you'd think that solves the problem, but you have to think of the other way too... its just not the answer for me.

one of my lads is one big unit, plays Rugby, had him on the boxing pads too and possesses unbelievable power (freakish, actually) plus he fights with his older brother too, so the lad can handle him self, there is a bully at his school (he doesn't pick on my lad, I would imagine because he's hard as nails) but I'm actually more concerned that if he did get picked on by this kid, that he would really hurt the bully. I'm constantly telling him to make sure he tells the teacher, because all the other kids in his class literally stand behind my lad for protection, and I don't want my lad involved at all if I'm honest.

usually, a bully acts out because he has his own problems, lets not forget these are kids, human beings..

As Jonty rightly says, its the school that need to put procedures in to stop this and re-habilitate the offenders, whilst protecting the victim.

VOF, we've pushed for all kids involved in same room to get to teh bottom of he said/she said stuff, school has declined it.

We're up at department of education level but all they do is check if school followed their own policy, you realise there is no real accountability.

At end of governors meeting on Feb 5 head came out and gave us a letter - because we complained about the school, they are not letting our son on the half term school ski ing trip. But not damage the relationship with us, they're prepared to refund us our £900 for the trip.

Utterly disgraceful.

Jonty …. to be honest, no way i'd be having that.

Have you checked out Ofsted website and advice around this stuff? It's a decade ago since I took this stuff on, so things/policies may have changed?

Disgraceful and actually endorsing the bullying by punishing your son further.

VOF, we're doing all we can believe me, school are using bully boy tactics, but in reality there is very little you can do short of moving schools and like I said bullying is everywhere its down to the leadership.

what sort of bullying is it?

comment by The Spanish Italians - its all going to end in tears (U21595)
posted 24 minutes ago
comment by Adam Z Lucifer - Rooneysrage9 (U22327)



posted 1 hour, 27 minutes ago


Teach him how to fight. iit will soon stop

----------------------

thing is, you'd think that solves the problem, but you have to think of the other way too... its just not the answer for me.

one of my lads is one big unit, plays Rugby, had him on the boxing pads too and possesses unbelievable power (freakish, actually) plus he fights with his older brother too, so the lad can handle him self, there is a bully at his school (he doesn't pick on my lad, I would imagine because he's hard as nails) but I'm actually more concerned that if he did get picked on by this kid, that he would really hurt the bully. I'm constantly telling him to make sure he tells the teacher, because all the other kids in his class literally stand behind my lad for protection, and I don't want my lad involved at all if I'm honest.

usually, a bully acts out because he has his own problems, lets not forget these are kids, human beings..

As Jonty rightly says, its the school that need to put procedures in to stop this and re-habilitate the offenders, whilst protecting the victim.


----------------------------------------------------------------------
My son is 8, is in 11/12 year old clothes and is built like a shhit house door. He's a proper lad and loves a bit of rough and tumble.

The missus and I have had to make it clear to him that he has to be careful when wrestling with kids in year 3 as he is so much bigger and stronger than the average child in his age group.

Unfortunately some parents see a big loud boy and think he must be a bully. One parent went to the head and asked if my lad could stop running across the playground on the way into school in the mornings as her son found it intimidating. Forunately the head likes my boy and told her she was talking bollox but I had to talk the missus down from lynching the woman in question.

Bullying is horrendous and the effects of it last long after you've left school.

At least when I was a kid there was no social media so you were free of it after 3 45, would hate to be a kid now.

OP, really sorry to hear that.

I thought in this day and age the teachers are taught and instructed to look out for signs of bullying?..

Its the teachers job to keep an eye out for it and deal with it the best way possible, if bullying is detected than its up to them to bring it before the head and its up to the head to deal with it and end it!..

Over here if it doesn't get sorted by the school the social services will intervene, they do have a system that protects kids, and that means against bullying,(not only in school!)and their parents!..

comment by Jonty (U4614)
posted 17 minutes ago
VOF, we're doing all we can believe me, school are using bully boy tactics, but in reality there is very little you can do short of moving schools and like I said bullying is everywhere its down to the leadership.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Hope you get it sorted mate ….. nothing worse than knowing your lad is getting bullied, it can have profound effects on kids if not dealt with.

Its the teachers job to keep an eye out for it and deal with it the best way possible, if bullying is detected than its up to them to bring it before the head and its up to the head to deal with it and end it!..
=========================

I think you vastly underestimate how overworked teachers are.

comment by Adam Z Lucifer - Rooneysrage9 (U22327)
posted 30 seconds ago
Its the teachers job to keep an eye out for it and deal with it the best way possible, if bullying is detected than its up to them to bring it before the head and its up to the head to deal with it and end it!..
=========================

I think you vastly underestimate how overworked teachers are.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Appreciate this is based on very little other than anecdotal evidence as I've a few friends that are teachers but is this really the case?

Everybody thinks their job is the hardest job out there.

They are overworked and vastly, from what I see. They're not teachers anymore. It's social work, care work, anger management, psychologists, surrogate parents. It's similar to the police in many areas.

Society has fobbed off responsibility to these roles, so they're blunted when it actually comes to doing what they're actually paid to do.

But bullying should be identified and dealt with, regardless of workload.

Society has fobbed off responsibility to these roles, so they're blunted when it actually comes to doing what they're actually paid to do.
________________________________

If by society, you mean parents. Then yes.

Adam, usually you can see when something isn't right with kids, I don't know what it is like in England, but here teachers do courses to improve their work, and bullying is one thing they take very seriously over here, they learn what to look out for and when they know it it becomes part of their everyday job!..

Do you think teachers over here are any less overworked than in England, if you do than you couldn't be more wrong!..

Mine aren't at School yet, but I'm very wary of the way School's act nowadays. Our lass looks after a few Schools who have kids with certain needs, trouble at home, recovering from health issues or where parents have left or died. She pulls her hair out on a regular basis of the way some of the Schools act and these are primary schools in remote area's.

Common sense is missing, along with the 'it's not my responsibility' attitude.

I think the School have played a dangerous game here Jonty and honestly, id' look at moving my kids away from it, if it couldn't be resolved.