I scored a hat-trick of own goals in an 11 a side game. The first one was unlucky, the 2nd was sloppy play and the 3rd I was dealing with a long ball, tried to nod it back to keeper from bout 20 yards but didnt realise he'd come rushing out to get it. I couldnt have lobbed him more perfectly if i'd tried. That was a bad day.... At the end of the game one of there players offered me the match ball

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i stared at the ground trying to clear my head and too my horror suddenly realised that I had put my shirt , shorts, shinpads and boots on but had ommitted to put my socks on.
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Brilliant.

I remember doing an absolutely epic slide tackle on the opposition's right winger right on the touchline, but I hadn't seen the 3-year old lad that was running around just off the pitch.

I caught him full on in the shins and literally flipped him upside-down, I felt so guilty but I had to get back in position to defend the throw so I just shouted my apologies and backpedalled

In my illustrious goalkeeping career, in an 11 a side game, I have managed to concede a throw in. Some clown had a massive throw, absolutely Rooney'ed it past all of his players and towards me in goal, in my attempt to make a simple catch above my head the ball hit my fingertips and took one bounce into an empty net. I then laid face down on the floor and wondered when my life was going to be ended.

I have also got the pleasure of admitting that i have been lobbed in a five a side goal on two seperate occasions.

I sometimes do wonder why no clubs have ever asked to acquire my goalkeeping services again.

I remember doing an absolutely epic slide tackle on the opposition's right winger right on the touchline, but I hadn't seen the 3-year old lad that was running around just off the pitch.

I caught him full on in the shins and literally flipped him upside-down, I felt so guilty but I had to get back in position to defend the throw so I just shouted my apologies and backpedalled

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This reminded me of a time when, in sixth form we were playing a jumpers for goalposts type game in the local town park during an extended lunch break.
I was always pretty useless at that age, but during this game I managed to catch a fairly sweet volley that flew past the goalkeeper, started my over the top celebration before noticing a girl of about 8 or so that had ran into the path of the ball, caught it squarely on the face and was knocked backwards a couple of feet.
Mum looks over to see me celebrating.... Wasn't happy!

I covered in goal for a 6as team in goal and conceded 7 in 15 minutes before getting hauled off

School football here......Going 1-0 up in the first minute or so and then losing 14-1 The following week the same thing happened but lost that one 12-1.

Scored an own goal in the first minute

i did torres didnt look at the goal passed the keeper and took it with my left