Don't doubt it fella...

Blue that just stepped right over the line!

me and my girlfriend were on tele the other night......

fell off quite quickly though!

i laugh at that blue but i feel harsh for doing so lol

The seven dwarves were having a bath and they were all feeling happy.

happy jumped out so they all felt grumpy.

DD some good jokes! Love the bra one! Made me chuckle and remember some old flings!

Blue that just stepped right over the line
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really?!
did i lower the tone?!

i laugh at that blue but i feel harsh for doing so lol

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at least i got one laugh!

Saw Van Gogh in a pub last week. I said you, 'want a beer?'

He said it's alright I've got one 'ere.

I have genuinely just received this email:

Hello, I am Mrs. Safia Farkash Gahdafi the wife of the late LibyanLeader Colonel Muammar Gahdafi. Following the recentrebellion in my country and the brutal death of my husbandon the 20 Oct 2011, I have been thrown into a state of utterconfusion, frustration and hopelessness; I have beensubjected to physical and psychological torture by thesecurity agents in Algeria where we seek refuge at present. My son was killed by the rebels for an offense he did notcommit. As a widow that is so traumatized, I have lostconfidence with anybody within the country. You must haveheard over the media reports and the internet on therecovery of various huge sums of money deposited by myhusband in different security firms abroad, some companieswillingly give up their secrets and disclosed our moneyconfidently lodged there or many outright blackmail. In factthe total sum discovered by the Government so far is in thetune of $900 Million Dollars. And they are not relenting tomake me poor for life; I got your contact email addressthrough my research and out of desperation decided to reachyou through this medium. I will give you more information asto this regard as soon as you reply. I repose greatconfidence in you hence my approach to you due to securitynetwork placed on my day to day affairs I cannot afford tovisit the embassy so that is why I decided to contact youand I hope you will not betray my confidence in you. I havedeposited the sum of ($18) Million Dollars with a Bank whosename is withheld for now until we open communication. I shall be grateful if you could receive this fund into youraccount for safe keeping. This arrangement is known to youand me alone. I am seriously considering relocating to yourcountry once the fund is transferred to you. I will bewilling to offer you 30% of the total fund if only you willreceive this fund and keep it for us. Please note that honesty is the watch word in thistransaction. I will require your full names and address andtelephone so that we can commence communication immediatelyand I will give you a more detailed picture of things. Incase you don’t accept please do not let me out to thesecurity as I am giving you this information in total trustand confidence .I will greatly appreciate if you accept myproposal in good faith. I appreciate your timely suggestion and interest over thismatter Best Regards Mrs. Safia Farkash Gahdafi

At least spell Gaddafi right.

bloke takes his 18 y/o son, who is just a head to the pub on his birthday.

he gets him a whiskey and pours it into his mouth.

with that the boy grows a torso.

delighted the dad runs back to the bar and asked for another.
the barman questions it as the lad is just a head and torso, but the dad persists and gets him another drink.

again he pours it into his sons mouth and he grows some arms!

the dad again runs to the bar and asked for another whiskey.
the barman is now concerned that the dad is giving this young lad too much. but again the dad is insistant.

the boy takes the whiskey with his new hand and drinks it. with that he grows some legs.
of course he is overjoyed and runs outside... only to be hit by a truck.

the father is greaving in at the bar when the barman says "hate to say it but, i told you he should have quit whilst he was ahead"

Wowsers JJG, you've been very fortunate that she should pick you from millions of people. Although, now that you've published the email here, she may lose a little faith in you.

Why is Santa's sack so big?

He only comes once a year.

I'll get my coat.

"Wowsers JJG, you've been very fortunate that she should pick you from millions of people. Although, now that you've published the email here, she may lose a little faith in you."

I know. I reckon I could be on a promise.

JJG

How can you treat such a heart felt cry for help with such suspicion................shame on you!!

I'll help he out, my bank details are....

I think we should all do our bit to help this poor woman - everyone should immediately publish their account details, I don't mind co-ordinating the whole thing.

My account details: Biscuit tin under bed. Sort code: 23-45-09.

I do not use paper currency.

Please send me 4 billion rice grains.

bloke rear ends a car & a dwarf gets out of the car he hit

Dwarf steams up to the bloke raps on his window & says - "I'm not Happy"

Bloke says;





Which one are you then..?


Evening all

I got really drunk and slept with a red headed dwarf once.

The next day I woke up feeling a little ginger.

Statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy.

Who invented the glass bra

seymour t!t

How do you turn a fruit in to a vegetable?

Aids.